Whoops, this post did not automatically post like it was suppose to.... Sorry about that...
here is the Second Batch
The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.. And the winners are:
1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.
6. Negligent, adj. Absent-mindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown..
7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle, n. Olive oil-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence, n.. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
5 comments:
Hi donna..I just love your list above. Now if I can only remember to tell some of them to my patients tomorrow. I think it would give an otherwise scared patient a good chuckle.
Those are so good! How do people think of these things?
These are priceless! Thanks for the laugh.
Penny
This batch I had seen before, but that didn't make me appreciate them any less! Wonderful wordplay. Thanks for sharing these!
These are so funny - I hope I can remember some to tell people too. I'm bad at that.
Love,
sandie
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