Picture taken by my friend Cyndi Leos....thank you Cyndi.

Friday, April 30, 2010

Familiar seasons...

The seasons of one's soul
are unique to one's experiences.
We learn as we go
what makes us safe
and comfortable.

My childhood
high strung
still seeking
still curious
still positive
still half full...

The winds
of change,
The heat
of emotion
The storms
of confusion
The gentle rain
of growth
The howling tempests
of indecision
The warmth
of inner light
The glow
of intuition
The calm
of resolve
within me.

I was 
taught to listen
to my inner voice.
I wanted to believe
in myself...

A gentle voice
 has always
whispered to me
in my dreams.
Causing me to be
still and quiet
to hear the words
of wisdom
and love.

Having children
in my thirties
motivated me
to be
I could be.

It was crucial
for me
to pass on
to listen
to their intuition
to hear it
believe it
trust it.

In the process
I learned too.

We three
bond of strength
the tightest

the memory
holding them
in my

It's times
like these
when things are uncertain
I can feel safe
I listened
I am
doing the right thing...

the end result
all along...

These are the familiar seasons of my life...


Thursday, April 29, 2010

To pack or unpack, that is the question...

I find myself in some what of an unusual position. Our plan to do the Reverse Mortgage (please every one...hold positive thoughts, pray, and hope our home appraises for at least $200,000) will buy us time, over the next two to five years, before we put the house up for sale again.

I put a few pictures back and the magnets back on the fridge, but wonder if it is worth unpacking everything, only to pack it all again down the road... Not that I want to live in limbo until we move, but it might help me detach emotionally.

If our goal is to simplify, then it might be a good idea to get used to living with less stuff...If I stay on task, I can really eliminate, unload, purge out a ton of more stuff and then we can fit into a smaller space. We've discussed trying to find a smaller place in California, now.  It would give us a place to stay when visiting, and would be a place to move to, when the time comes.

Sounds good in theory, let's hope we make it happen.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

A new friend in a small country town in New South Wales...

I happened to stumble upon a wonderful poem, the other day. The poem, entitled, Just sayin', really spoke to me. I wanted to share it with everyone. I contacted Penny and asked her permission to post it, and she graciously allowed me permission.

She is married with teenagers and lives in a small country town in New South Wales.  Her photography is also beautiful.  You can visit Penny at

Just sayin’.

When in doubt, leap. One needs a little courage to live.

Miracles happen so often they become commonplace.

It’s easier to draw a straight line than to straighten a crooked one.

How come it’s always the narrow path that considers itself superior?

If you paint a black picture, the picture will be black.

Boredom is the price one pays for not enjoying everything.

Getting lost is part of getting there.

There’s something braver than dying for the truth – living without it.

Lessons are learned, not taught.

When your burden gets too heavy, you learn how to carry it.

The little girl riding her bicycle. Never once did she wonder: “Is this worthwhile?”

The sea will wash away our footprints but not the fact we made them.

Experiences for which there are no words get along fine without them.

Reasons are invented, not found.

No river could flow if it had to know its destination first.

** Posted with permission from Penny at above link, originally posted on her site on April 19, 2010.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Put on your BIG GIRL panties and deal with it!

I saw the above quote the other day at the beauty shop and loved it.  I thought it apropos for these days we are now a travelin'...

One of my bloggin friends, Linda, has started a massive PURGE FEST and I really think she is on to something.  It certainly seems to be the topic of conversation on several of the blogs I visit.  I started de-cluttering, simplifying, eliminating, "for the move"....and before that, for "Spring Cleaning".  NOW, I have NO EXCUSES to finish what a started...AND GET REAL SERIOUS!

Purge just seems to sum it all up, doesn't it?  I have Big Brothers and Sisters of America coming tomorrow to pick up a pile of stuff.  I am really more motivated than ever to E-L-I-M-I-N-A-T-E and P-U-R-G-E.

My husband and I were talking last night, and concluded after we get the Reverse Mortgage behind us, we need to find a smaller place in California, just big enough to sleep and relax while traveling to California.  We had been looking for more square footage when we planned on moving there, but couldn't find anything. When I get ourselves properly purged, we will be able to fit in a much smaller place within the next two to five years.

I love to have goals.  I love to make lists on how to attain those goals.  So now I have a plan and it feels good.  It feels right.  I like the thought of not being all preoccupied with moving and unpacking when my youngest daughter gives birth.  I want to be available to be ready at a moments hop in that car of mine and drive to her assistance for as long as she needs me.

I enjoy my older daughter filling me in on special events coming up for the boys, so we can plan a road trip to share those special times with them.  Spending time with them is just about my most favorite thing to do and it makes it so much more special and precious...

I know my goal is to end up closer to my girls, grand kids, family and friends.  Eventually, that WILL HAPPEN.  Right now, I must focus on my husband's health and help him get in a financial place so he can retire and not have to work the six day work week he is battling now...

Onward and is all going to work out just right...

Friday, April 23, 2010

For now: We're staying where we are...

After much deliberating, making lists of Pro's and Con's, back and forth conversating, crying, arguing (loud frustrated discussions), we have decided to take the house off the market and stay put.  All the foreclosures and short sales are bringing down the comps so low, we refuse to give our house away...

At the moment, I am too tired to adequately express how I feel...more later...

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Back to square one...

Our potential buyers backed out and are no longer interested in our house.
I am not sure how I feel right now...too busy dealing with the dry socket I have from my extraction last Tuesday...
Had one showing today...then took a nap most of the day...

Back to square one...

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Doing the splits between Nevada and California...

One day I hope our potential buyers will accept our counter offer and then the next day, (yesterday) I almost told the Realtor to take the house off the market and stop the counter negociations.  My husband is leaving it up to me.  He is fine to stay.  He is fine to go.  He just wants to be with me and know where we are going to be!  I am driving him absolutely NUTS!  (Bless his heart...)

Our Agent here in Nevada is the epitomy of patience and compassion.  We are so thankful to have her...

We have countered and are not coming down that much (or increasing our sales price....despite how much I wanted to follow Jerry's advice, to let them know how serious we are and how insulting their offer was!!!)

I suppose we are lucky.  Despite their offer being lower than what we asked for, it is not as low as some are getting. While we were in her office, another couple came storming into the reception area, angry at our Agent because their buyers were offering much lower offers. It's not her fault. They also have the same model as we do....but not all the extras we have.

I kind of hope they don't accept our offer.  I think we would do better to get the Reverse Mortage and have so much more time to look in California, after my husband retires.... But, we would lose the $20,000  incentives for this month if we use their lender on this new house.... If they don't offer the incentives next month or down the road, we would probably not get that house in Hemet.

My older daughter wants us to look at some other homes, in her area, without an HOA, but is not a senior community.  We both want the quiet and the planned activities of a senior communtiy....

I am concerned about the HOA in the new home.  Currently it is $185 a month.  The sales person told us, it will go up in 2011 to $195 and then to $210 in 2012.  They anticipate being built out at that time and will turn over the HOA decisions to the community.  Our HOA in Nevada is $60.  We have 1200 homes.  The new one will only have 593.  They have two more pools and one more spa than we do in Nevada.  They also have an indoor walking track and walking trails outside.  So, more amenities for fewer homes. Our HOA dues have not changed in almost 5 years.  In fact, we have a surplus.

I am also not particulary crazy about the floor plan.  It has some furniture placement problems and conflicts with TV noise as my husband and I are generally watching two different programs. Most of the time,  I am on the computer.  The Den, has a wall between the Greatroom, where my husband's BIG SCREEN will be.  There are no doors on the Den.  We would have to have something constructed...but still, it would bascially be absorbing all the noise from the Greatroom.

Our current floor plan, has the Greatroom a "dogleg left" (golfing term for a reverse " L " shape direction )from the Den, and it is quiet enough to concentrate.  We don't disturb one another...

I always pick apart the next house we move to.  I am still "in love" with the house we leave behind.  Houses only become homes after memories are made and it is filled with conversations and laughter...

Saturday, April 17, 2010

I can't hide forever...

I have been hesitating in writing anything.  I feel very exposed.  Way, way, way, too emotional....Psychotic and Catatonic...

I know the last thing one is supposed to be with real estate, is to be emotional...   I have officially smashed that rule into a million teeny, tiny pieces...

I have spent the the past week, since returning from CALI, crying or being indecisive.  I feel like a champion match ping pong ball on Red Bull and CRACK!  Can't sleep, can't eat, stomach in knots, running to the toilet...and I can't seem to complete a sentence.

In between this chaos, I had a tooth pulled, filed our taxes -- which had an error and had to be re-filed with additonal monies to pay our tax bill, all the while keeping the house "spit spot" for the parade of strangers inspecting our home. 3 Realtors have brought 3 sets of clients this week.  One of the Realtors brought a couple back twice...  and they made us a low ball offer.  They offered $18,900 less than our offer, wanted $3,000 back in Escrow, want all of our appliances (which are listed as going with us in the MLS), and for us to pay the Capital Contribution fees (which are the fees we paid when we moved into this communtiy.  It basically goes into the Community Kitty of our HOA). We are countering and standing firm, so no doubt they will move on...but we already feel we are GIVING OUR HOUSE husband thought their offer was insulting.

We did find a new home in a 55+ Communtiy in Hemet, CA.  Right now, the Hemet Police Department is being attacked by Gangs...  This is what is posted on the Hemet Police website:


A $200,000 reward is being offered for information leading to the arrest

and convictions of the person or persons responsible for the attacks against

the Hemet Police Department and the Hemet/San Jacinto Regional Gang Task Force."
Nice, huh?
The house would not be built until the end of September
which is when my daughter's baby is due
and is my husband's birthday...
Did I mention another of the stipulations
in the "offer" of the folks who want
us to "give them" our home...
is to be out of our home by June 9th,
which is my birthday weekend...??
We were "considering" this new home
mainly because of all the crappy houses
we saw "on the market",
 it was the lowest price
(Still $30,000 more than what we
WANTED to pay),
the builder is offering
$20,000 in upgrades
to use their lender
before the end of April.
It is
located in a city
we are not particularly
excited about living.
We would have
to do a
 Reverse Mortgage
to be able
 to afford it.
We'll have to do
a Reverse Mortgage
to afford
to stay
in our home, here!
If my husband retires,
which he NEEDS to  do...
that is what we are
faced with...
I am afraid
if we don't move back to
Calif NOW,
we may be PRICED OUT
in another 3-5 years.
I could live here
another 2-5 years
but no longer.
I want to be
with my family...
I don't want
to disappoint
with my
hanging on
Stay tuned.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

One door closes and another opens wide...

The adventure begins! Our Realtor just put the lock box on the front door and the papers are signed... FOR SALE sign goes up Monday...

Thank you so much to those in the Sacred Circle that support and share on this blog. A special shout out to Jerry, at (do check him out, he is a witty writer with wonderful humor, seasoned with wisdom and life experience) who shared his positivity in such a poetic way, reminding me to look for the adventure as something to embrace.  I loved how he put it: "...if one plants a seed of despair and waters it with doubt and fear--it will blossom into something you don't want.  If you plant the seed of excitement and water it with dreams of the future and glorious adventure--it to will bloom...into something Blessed."
Isn't that great?

Many thanks, also, to Marylinn, Caroline, Teresa, September Mom, Lily, Maggie, Dell Girl and Terri for your  enjoyable visits, always with a cheerful word or wisdom and constant support.
*** I think you will enjoy their blogs too, please find their blog sites under Sacred Circle...***