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Picture taken by my friend Cyndi Leos....thank you Cyndi.

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

The Ups and Downs....

I was doing so good....then I over did it and hurt my back...am just starting to feel better...I weighed myself and gained back three of the four pounds I have lost...

Have to start all over again tomorrow....

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Clarification...



"Do or
do not,
there is no trying."

~Yoda

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

8 More Bodies Found on Costa Concordia...

My heart is so heavy and sad.  Divers found 8 more bodies today in an undisclosed area on the 4th deck which had not been previously searched, but where several passengers advised the authorities to look.  One of the bodies is suspected to be little 5 year old Dayana Ariotti.  I would imagine one of the 8 bodies will be of her father as he reportedly went back to their cabin with her to get his diabetes medication.

This brings the total dead to 25 with 7 more still missing.  I cannot imagine the grief her Mother feels.  This is so tragic...so unnecessary...so many lives destroyed because of that egomaniac Captain who drove that ship like a race car.

Hopefully, they will find the rest of the missing, including the Heils, so all the families can have closure.

God Bless those brave divers searching inside that ship to bring comfort and answers to so many...

Saturday, February 18, 2012

RIP Whitney Houston...

image from Google images


I have always been a fan of Whitney Houston.  Like so many have said this past week, she was the background music of my life.  So many of her songs bring back vivid memories.

She was talented, so beautiful, the epitome of what so many women aspire to be.  Women of her talent and beauty are almost always held to an expectation of perfection.  No doubt by many, she was idolized.  Very difficult standard to live one's life...

I am not condoning her battle with drugs and alcohol, but I for one, do not know the pressures and stress she had to deal with.  I was so touched by what her real life bodyguard Ray, spoke of at her funeral today.  We do not realize the sacrifice artists give to do what they love to do, so we can enjoy their talents.  They do travel to us, away from their families, spend countless hours on planes, buses, cars, in all kinds of weather...there is more to it than just buying a ticket...

Personally, I cannot imagine having cameras flash in my face 24/7 each time I would step outside to do anything, professionally or personal, regardless of how I felt or looked...

It's a world only those involved can understand.  Can any of us really imagine the loss and sadness of an emotional situation and having to get on a stage in front of millions of people and sing our hearts out and perform as if everything was "just fine"?

I can't...

She was a rare talent and I am thankful for the gifts she left behind.

May God lift up her family and friends to give them the strength to deal with their great loss.

Rest in peace Whitney Houston....

Monday, February 13, 2012

Changing it Up Ninja Style...

Wish I knew more about food combinations best suited to my body type to lose weight fast...the last nutritionist I went to had me drinking Carnation Instant Breakfast for breakfast, drinking 8/8oz of water daily, frozen meals for lunch and watching my portions at night with no potatoes, white anything or bread.  I lost 5 pounds, but was sick of the food...and gained it back.

I watched Dr. Oz today.  He showed fat burning meals for Big Bottoms, Big Middles, Big Tops and Big Thighs... I wrote down the one for Big Middles...it was a whole grain English muffin, olive oil, Swiss cheese, avocado slices, tomato slices, poached egg with cherry tomatoes on the side.  In addition, he suggested taking 1000mg of CLA (Conjugated Linoleic Acid) with it to facilitate the fat burning.  He suggested eating this mega breakfast every day for five consecutive days. I didn't have the avocados or the CLA, but it was tasty.

I realize everyone has to be proactive and responsible when Dr. Oz suggests these things. In an hour show he cannot give all the precautions or conflicts with individuals health issues.... so each of us have to google and investigate on our own.

He also discussed the benefits of Raspberry Keytones and to start with 100mg, working up to 300mg.  This supplement, equivalent to eating 90 pounds of Raspberries, tricks the body into thinking it is skinny and supposedly, the pounds fall off.

I googled it and found if someone has heart issues or thyroid issues it could have dire side effects, or lead to thyroid problems.  It suggested not being on it for more than 3 months.  I am kind of surprised he did not advise to check with one's doctor first...

I could not get myself to go to the gym and deal with the irritating gym goers, so I dressed like a ninja to protect myself from the winds and jogged around the hills of our neighborhood. When I cover my mouth and nose with a scarf, my breath fogs up my glasses.  I don't dare jog without them.  It looks like we might get some rain or a small storm...it is cold today.

                                               
The gym protocol is to wipe the machine you use after use with a disinfectant.  First off, I HATE the smell of whatever that stuff is in the spa bottle.  Being the germ a phobic person I am, I wipe down the machine BEFORE and AFTER, mainly because I see so many NOT WIPING DOWN the machine after they finish.  I also see people who wet a paper towel with the disinfectant and then carry the same towel to each machine they go to and use it to wipe down the machine and their sweat from their forehead....GROSS!


When I go to the gym, it is like going into the dentist office for a root canal.  I want to get in and get it over with as soon as possible.  Invariably, there is someone I knew from computer class or art class who wants to catch up, which I don't mind...but we have re-elections going on for our board members and there is a lot of controversy right now since the board members decided to build a full kitchen to use only for club functions.  There is a lot of grumbling going on due to this, so consequently, residents have their strong opinions on which board                 members should be not re-elected...

The last thing I need in my life right now (or ever) is DRAMA and GOSSIP! Some times I can zip in and zip out of the gym...but too often, I get snagged and cannot figure a way to graciously excuse myself...

How do people keep looking nice when they work out regularly?  I have  given up with my hair.  I am over due for a hair cut, but decided, as motivation, I could not get my hair done until I lose at least ten pounds.  My face stays red and splotchy for over an hour when I get home...I have dry hair, so normally, I wash it every three or four days...I can even go a week....but NOT when I am working out and getting all sweaty!  I am washing it almost every day and it is drying out even more!  I look like hell...

When my husband and I go out, he turns to me and asks, "Are you going to brush your hair?"  I tell him NO, it won't help.  Get used to it.  This is me until I lose ten pounds...  Maybe that is why we have been staying home lately...

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Magpie #104


photo prompt from Tess Kincaid
hostess and challenge from Magpie Tales

embrace differences gently
never black or white
 individuals unite

~dkb~


Thursday, February 9, 2012

In The Zone...

Got a lot going on today with gardeners blowing out the rock in our yard....estimates from two more Paver companies, getting everything ready for my daughter arriving tomorrow... So I had to get up extra early and get to the gym to do my work out...

These past 8 days I have been working out, I have given some private nick names to some of the regulars who also in the gym...  "The Sniffer" is a man I think lives in the gym, because no matter what time I come in, he is there on the end, doing the elliptical and he constantly sniffs...more like blows out his nose while working out... extremely irritating.  I have to blast my iPod so I don't hear him.  Other people working out next to him, often leave mumbling unpleasantries...When I leave he is still going strong on his machine.

Then there is "the Moaner"; a woman who, bless her heart, is determined to drop pounds and inches.  She sounds like she is having more fun than how she looks while working out...If you don't look at her, you swear you are listening to an x-rated movie...

"The Slapper" is a short man who runs on the treadmill.  He doesn't look heavy, but he slaps his feet so heavily and loud, it sounds like he is wearing swim fins on his feet!  He sweats up a storm and sounds like he is going to pass out any minute...

There is a tiny Asian women I call "the Twister" because while walking fast on the treadmill, she moves her hands and arms side to side like she is doing the twist.  If I am not focused, my peripheral vision picks up her movements and interferes with my treadmill workout.

I have tried using my earphones to watch TV, looking out at the mountains beyond the gym windows, or using my iPod.  Definitely, listening to my iPod is the best.

This morning, I was in the zone, my iPod shuffle was on some great Oldies But Goodies and Neil Diamond...just the right beat to work out to and help me tune out all the noise around me.  I got into a rhythm and had my best work out yet.

Today is going to be a great day and tomorrow, EVEN BETTER!

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Magpie #103

a grave at the Novodevichy Cemetery, Moscow

photo from Tess Kincaid
poetry challenge from Magpie Tales aka The Mag

longing gentle clasp of self
capture only kills
ones essence of individuality

~dkb~

It's Going To Be Worth It...

It's cold today.  Overcast, gray clouds, 30% chance of rain and a freezing, biting wind.

We had an estimate this morning from a paving company to re-do the space where our in ground spa used to be... great ideas, but too much money.

Inside, I lay on the carpet doing floor exercises to strengthen my core...As my stomach spasms uncontrollably I grimace in pain and tell myself, "It's going to be worth it...it's going to be worth it..."

Saturday, February 4, 2012

A Gift For Myself...

I originally started this blog as a place of discovery and sharing; to figure out our purpose to become the person we want to be, behind the traditional roles we all live.  For me, I wanted to ignite and pursue the creative desires I put on the back burner while raising my kids.

I know I ended up here in Henderson, Nevada due to my husband's pursuit of a better job...which he found, but due to the economy, his career drastically changed working in the business loan banking field.

As you all know, I spend a lot of time complaining about living so far from my family who live in Southern California.  Since Nevada leads the nation in foreclosures and short sales, the housing market here SUCKS for sellers, hence, we are STUCK here...for the time being.

Consequently, I have allowed myself to sink into the dark mire of depression and basically eat my loneliness and unhappiness...

No one can make me happy.  That job belongs solely to me, so it is my responsibility to snap myself out of it.  I was talking to my youngest brother E____ last week, playing my violin of sadness and all the reasons why I have gained so much weight...

 "Sounds like you are making a lot of excuses Sis. You have to take action just like the Nike slogan says:  Just Do It."  


I thought it over and decided to do just that... Since February 1, 2012 I have been going up to our community gym every day and working out for 45 minutes to an hour.  I am 5' 7" tall and weigh 188.  I am declaring to the world (to make myself accountable) that I hope to lose at least a pound a week, so when I turn 65 this June, I will be at least 170 pounds.  My goal is to weigh 160.  I have to establish good habits to replace my bad ones.

I think taking weight off my body and making myself more happy is the best gift I can give myself and my loved ones, because it will insure I will be around a while longer and FEEL much better.  If I continue on the path I was on, I will keep expanding until I literally EXPLODE!

I weighed 157 when we moved here six years ago.  I know this is the land of the GREAT BUFFETS, but I can choose more veggies, fruit and lean protein.  There are healthy choices...  I am watching my portions and drinking lots of water.  I am cutting way back on the white breads, potatoes, crackers, and sweets.  I love to eat, so I am enjoying my food, just making better choices and less of them.  I am doing my best to re-train myself to eat five little meals rather than "three squares" plus snacking...

I am embarrassed to say how disorienting and exhausting it is changing one's procrastination and sedentary life style to one of action and movement!

I will tell you, as sore as I am, it makes me think twice before I shove something in my mouth because I have first hand experience now on how hard it is sweating to work it off!!!  I am stiff and sore in places I did not even know existed...but I am determined to work out every day.

I hope to meet some new friends...couples for my husband and I to go out with or invite over to dinner as well as girlfriends for me.

The exercise has improved my attitude. My new motto is KEEP MOVING.  I am still working at finishing off all the projects I didn't finish from 2011.  If I do less sitting, which for right now, includes blogging on the computer, I get more exercise and hopefully, will mean losing weight and feeling better.
So please bare with me as I pop in and out for a while longer...

We also have a couple of ongoing household problems:  One is the re-plumbing law suit our community has going with the builder.  The builder put deficient fittings in our homes which has caused low water pressure, clogged pipes, broken pipes, and leaks.  Fortunately, we just have the low water pressure and clogged pipes...no leaks like some residents.

The other is our spa decking was rotting away.  There was a lawsuit on it as well...only the suit only pays for the replacement of the supplies to replace the decking.  We have to pay for the labor, which was going to be $1900.  We decided, since we do not use the spa often enough to justify keeping it (I never wanted it to begin with, this was my husband's idea) we decided to have it removed.

Good thing we decided to take it out because the boards under the decking were not treated wood and were rotting.  The decking was deteriorating and the spa shell was beginning to lean to the back towards our next door neighbor's backyard.  When the workers lifted the spa, about twenty fat, gray mice ran for shelter...they had made a mouse city inside the insulation of the spa, and a metropolis of intricate pathways underneath the spa in the dirt.

Besides the rotting wood, the decking, the mice, and a new cover, we would have been spending thousands of dollars to fix damage to the spa shell not to mention the chewed wires and hoses.

The hole is now filled with dirt and we plan on putting pavers down then placing a table and chairs there.  We'll save considerably on our utilities not having that spa filtering every two hours.

Anyway, that is why I have not been visiting any of you or writing much lately...

It is going to take me awhile to get caught up and then establish a new, more productive routine.

I am in especially good spirits lately as my oldest daughter Holly is coming to visit next Friday for three days.  It would be PERFECT if my younger daughter, Jodee could come too...but she could not get off from work. So I will be grateful for our special mother-daughter time... until I go to California in May and see them both.

I so appreciate the gift of your friendships.  The loyal friends who have continued to stop in and stay in touch, sending me caring emails about my welfare.  You know who you are and you mean the world to me.  I love each of you dear friends...