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Picture taken by my friend Cyndi Leos....thank you Cyndi.

Monday, August 15, 2011

Magpie #78: Her Life...


Photo prompt by Tess Kincaid
Hostesses and challenge by Magpie Tales

like old used 
brushes and rollers
in a closet,
her life
lies waiting
without purpose
 unpainted
a project started
 and pushed aside
lacking motivation
to make it all it could be...

her creativity stifled
in what needs to be painted, 
longing for brighter colors, 
better days, 
her mind drifts back 
 when her life had aspirations...

 bittersweet memories
of raising her children
alone in her strength

having worked most
of her life
"it felt right"
occasionally complaining
like everyone else,
but it always 
shot her out of bed each morning
recharged
 keeping her organized, on task
and happy...

was the marriage 
after  the kids moved out,
a mistake?
her doubts began
when he wanted to move away
away from her family and children
knowing they were her everything...

retired now, they both feel regret
him knowing her unhappiness
she, feeling stuck...

growing older
less physically capable
further away to ask for help
less income
 depression
less options
less conversation
gas prices soaring
less travel to visit
buyer's market
fragile economy
government turmoil
investments dropping
bleaker future
less in common

fewer phone calls and face time
as young families get on with living
raising children and working...

life goes on
like a raging river
swim or sink
this isn't how
she thought her life would be

some times
getting older
feels like 
waiting to die...

her spirit needs inspiration
her mind needs goals
her heart needs interaction
her soul needs a purpose...

her hope
like her eye sight
is dwindling...

thinking of the difference
between those with an action plan
and those without
should be as easy 
as "just doing it"
unless one is lying down...

procrastination is a rusty, 
tangled wire wrapping tighter
the more her denial
of her reality
overwhelms her...
she'd drink 
if it were her inclination...

instead, naps are her escape hatch
as her hand slams the closet door shut
pushing it from her mind,
"There will be no painting today."

~dkb~


9 comments:

Chatty Crone said...

Great writing and I know someone in that spot.

Helen said...

Your Magpie tells the story of a sad and lonely woman ... I hope this isn't about you. Beautifully written.

Brian Miller said...

kinda scary just a bit...to have ones naps be a form of escape...think i would rather paint...nice bit of storytelling though as i was right there in it..

Ren said...

Goodness, how sad :(

Mystic_Mom said...

and my heart catches in my throat - oh!

What a wonderful heart breaking poem.

kaykuala said...

It is sad in the twilight years one is faced with such physical and emotional woes. Brilliantly written!

Lena said...

Poor soul. What a feeling to be stuck in this situation.I'd probably be thankful for sleep, too.

Trellissimo said...

I'm all for having a day off!

Erratic Thoughts said...

hmm very thoughtful poem...sad but true...!