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Picture taken by my friend Cyndi Leos....thank you Cyndi.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Magpie #60 Crying In The Shower...

Photo by Tess Kincaid
Challenge by Magpie Tales

Long ago,
she remembered
being
so miserable
 she cried
each night
in the
shower...
frustrated, hurt,
disillusioned,
angry and bitter...
They had only known
one another
four months
before they eloped...
Not taking the time
to make sure
he was father
material
instead of
rushing to silence
the biological clock
in her head...
Destiny
cloaked her
The eternal wheels
moved forward...
 She gave birth
to her firstborn
 ecstatically happy
 wanting
children
 a dozen years...
Motherhood, at thirty,
was long over due.
 A crucial
life goal ...
a need
a force
a craving
satisfied...
Another child
at thirty-two
   fulfilling
 a dream,
blossoming
into the woman
she wanted
to become;
Feeling complete
she felt she could do anything,
even
make
that marriage work...
fighting
the shock
of the man
she thought she
knew,
she continued
to make excuses...
but
his cursing
anger
bewildered her soul
his drinking
his gambling
shattered her mind
casting her into
slippery walled
depths of darkness
saved only
by the bright eyed
cherubs who filled
 her heart
with love
giving her
determined reasons to try...
Transformed in loving
gratitude
in becoming
 a
Mother
yet
overwhelmed by the
crumbling
marriage
clawing
suppressing
the reality
clinging to
"just one more time"
for
these precious jewels
captivating
her life...
How can
the power
the magic
the sacred
of
a man and
a woman
creating life together...
not be
strong enough
to hold it all together?
Isn't the importance
of life
to
raise a family,
live life together
share a history
make memories
embrace the familiar
take on life
together
despite
all the adversity?
Isn't it to live
the dream?
To fight
to keep
it all together
protect it,
from which makes it
twist, break
fall apart
and
go wrong?
he left
she stayed
with her
precious cargo...
Divorce
was worse than
being left a widow...
If only she knew
then
how strange
and foreign
it would feel
 to make
a new relationship;
feeling the
dull disconnection
with another man
other than
her children's father...
still
mourning
the dream
so very difficult
to find...
She would
not
succeed;
it
never
felt
right...
She had
to do it
alone...
scared out of her mind
not knowing how
she would make it work...
yet knowing
she would
because
failure was not
an option
anymore...
Her
 faith
in God
helped
get through,
still
 she cried in
the shower
praying
for
strength
mourning
for what was
 never to be again...

~dkb~

14 comments:

DJan said...

What I think is that it never was, really, there. Sometimes I mourn for what might have been, but then I dry myself off and dress in some cool clothes!

Good magpie tale, Donna. Hugs to you and hope this was not autobiographical.

Debra Ann Elliott said...

Wow!

Tess Kincaid said...

I often think divorce would be worse than widowhood. Emotional piece.

The Words Crafter said...

Oh, how sad and lovely and determined! And yes, I thing all us women cry in the shower.

Very beautiful and poignant....

haze said...

Oh Miss Donna... this made me teary eyed... you know, it's the one thing that i fear in the future... making plans, dream dreams with the man i love, then one day i will be left alone... i am so glad, you walked through it... and i really wish i can hug you right now ;'(

p.s. thank you so much for the comment on my blog :)

That corgi :) said...

I echo the commenter who said "wow"; I think you did the best with what you had to work with at the time, Donna, even though I can only imagine how hard it must have been! Hoping you lived close to your family for their support during those years and also so thankful you were willing to take the "plunge" again because I think this time you got a keeper!!

thanks for sharing this piece of your heart with us


betty

Everyday Goddess said...

It is tragic when it all goes wrong. And then somehow it gets better, or easier to bear. Be well.

Reflections said...

Beautifully written piece... raw at its core, yet poignant. Well done.

earlybird said...

It's fascinating how different the stories from the prompts are. If this is biographical I hope life got better. A lot better.

Wanda..... said...

That could be my sister's life of years ago... but the right man did eventually come along!

GYPSYWOMAN said...

many many showers in this world washed clean by the tears of its owner - beautifully written, lady -

Carrie Burtt said...

A brilliant and moving piece Donna...I so have enjoyed looking at your blog....thank you so much for the wonderful comments over at my blog....I look forward to reading more of your work!! :-)

gayle said...

So beautifully written!

Lydia said...

What powerful memories were evoked by this photo prompt. Raw, yet beautiful. They could be my mother's memories, in many ways. If she were still alive I would show it to her.

(I see you are in Henderson. I was born and raised in Reno. Once a Nevada girl always a Nevada girl!)