Magpie #60 Crying In The Shower...

Photo by Tess Kincaid

Challenge by Magpie Tales

Long ago,

she remembered

being

so miserable

 she cried

each night

in the

shower...
frustrated, hurt,
disillusioned,
angry and bitter...
They had only known
one another

four months

before they eloped...

Not taking the time
to make sure
he was father
material
instead of
rushing to silence
the biological clock
in her head...
Destiny
cloaked her

The eternal wheels
moved forward...

 She gave birth
to her firstborn

 ecstatically happy

 wanting

children
 a dozen years...
Motherhood, at thirty,
was long over due.
 A crucial
life goal ...
a need
a force
a craving
satisfied...
Another child
at thirty-two
   fulfilling
 a dream,
blossoming
into the woman
she wanted
to become;
Feeling complete
she felt she could do anything,
even
make
that marriage work...
fighting
the shock
of the man
she thought she
knew,
she continued
to make excuses...
but
his cursing
anger
bewildered her soul
his drinking
his gambling
shattered her mind
casting her into
slippery walled
depths of darkness
saved only
by the bright eyed
cherubs who filled
 her heart
with love
giving her
determined reasons to try...

Transformed in loving

gratitude
in becoming
 a
Mother
yet
overwhelmed by the
crumbling
marriage
clawing
suppressing
the reality
clinging to
"just one more time"
for
these precious jewels
captivating
her life...
How can

the power

the magic
the sacred

of

a man and

a woman

creating life together...
not be
strong enough
to hold it all together?
Isn't the importance
of life
to

raise a family,

live life together
share a history
make memories
embrace the familiar
take on life
together

despite

all the adversity?
Isn't it to live
the dream?
To fight
to keep
it all together
protect it,

from which makes it
twist, break
fall apart
and
go wrong?
he left
she stayed
with her
precious cargo...

Divorce

was worse than
being left a widow...
If only she knew
then
how strange
and foreign
it would feel
 to make
a new relationship;
feeling the
dull disconnection
with another man
other than
her children's father...
still
mourning
the dream
so very difficult
to find...
She would
not
succeed;
it
never
felt
right...
She had
to do it
alone...

scared out of her mind

not knowing how

she would make it work...
yet knowing
she would
because
failure was not
an option
anymore...
Her

 faith

in God
helped

get through,
still

 she cried in

the shower
praying
for
strength
mourning

for what was

 never to be again...

~dkb~