A Gift For Myself...

I originally started this blog as a place of discovery and sharing; to figure out our purpose to become the person we want to be, behind the traditional roles we all live.  For me, I wanted to ignite and pursue the creative desires I put on the back burner while raising my kids.

I know I ended up here in Henderson, Nevada due to my husband's pursuit of a better job...which he found, but due to the economy, his career drastically changed working in the business loan banking field.

As you all know, I spend a lot of time complaining about living so far from my family who live in Southern California.  Since Nevada leads the nation in foreclosures and short sales, the housing market here SUCKS for sellers, hence, we are STUCK here...for the time being.

Consequently, I have allowed myself to sink into the dark mire of depression and basically eat my loneliness and unhappiness...

No one can make me happy.  That job belongs solely to me, so it is my responsibility to snap myself out of it.  I was talking to my youngest brother E____ last week, playing my violin of sadness and all the reasons why I have gained so much weight...

 "Sounds like you are making a lot of excuses Sis. You have to take action just like the Nike slogan says:  Just Do It."  


I thought it over and decided to do just that... Since February 1, 2012 I have been going up to our community gym every day and working out for 45 minutes to an hour.  I am 5' 7" tall and weigh 188.  I am declaring to the world (to make myself accountable) that I hope to lose at least a pound a week, so when I turn 65 this June, I will be at least 170 pounds.  My goal is to weigh 160.  I have to establish good habits to replace my bad ones.

I think taking weight off my body and making myself more happy is the best gift I can give myself and my loved ones, because it will insure I will be around a while longer and FEEL much better.  If I continue on the path I was on, I will keep expanding until I literally EXPLODE!

I weighed 157 when we moved here six years ago.  I know this is the land of the GREAT BUFFETS, but I can choose more veggies, fruit and lean protein.  There are healthy choices...  I am watching my portions and drinking lots of water.  I am cutting way back on the white breads, potatoes, crackers, and sweets.  I love to eat, so I am enjoying my food, just making better choices and less of them.  I am doing my best to re-train myself to eat five little meals rather than "three squares" plus snacking...

I am embarrassed to say how disorienting and exhausting it is changing one's procrastination and sedentary life style to one of action and movement!

I will tell you, as sore as I am, it makes me think twice before I shove something in my mouth because I have first hand experience now on how hard it is sweating to work it off!!!  I am stiff and sore in places I did not even know existed...but I am determined to work out every day.

I hope to meet some new friends...couples for my husband and I to go out with or invite over to dinner as well as girlfriends for me.

The exercise has improved my attitude. My new motto is KEEP MOVING.  I am still working at finishing off all the projects I didn't finish from 2011.  If I do less sitting, which for right now, includes blogging on the computer, I get more exercise and hopefully, will mean losing weight and feeling better.
So please bare with me as I pop in and out for a while longer...

We also have a couple of ongoing household problems:  One is the re-plumbing law suit our community has going with the builder.  The builder put deficient fittings in our homes which has caused low water pressure, clogged pipes, broken pipes, and leaks.  Fortunately, we just have the low water pressure and clogged pipes...no leaks like some residents.

The other is our spa decking was rotting away.  There was a lawsuit on it as well...only the suit only pays for the replacement of the supplies to replace the decking.  We have to pay for the labor, which was going to be $1900.  We decided, since we do not use the spa often enough to justify keeping it (I never wanted it to begin with, this was my husband's idea) we decided to have it removed.

Good thing we decided to take it out because the boards under the decking were not treated wood and were rotting.  The decking was deteriorating and the spa shell was beginning to lean to the back towards our next door neighbor's backyard.  When the workers lifted the spa, about twenty fat, gray mice ran for shelter...they had made a mouse city inside the insulation of the spa, and a metropolis of intricate pathways underneath the spa in the dirt.

Besides the rotting wood, the decking, the mice, and a new cover, we would have been spending thousands of dollars to fix damage to the spa shell not to mention the chewed wires and hoses.

The hole is now filled with dirt and we plan on putting pavers down then placing a table and chairs there.  We'll save considerably on our utilities not having that spa filtering every two hours.

Anyway, that is why I have not been visiting any of you or writing much lately...

It is going to take me awhile to get caught up and then establish a new, more productive routine.

I am in especially good spirits lately as my oldest daughter Holly is coming to visit next Friday for three days.  It would be PERFECT if my younger daughter, Jodee could come too...but she could not get off from work. So I will be grateful for our special mother-daughter time... until I go to California in May and see them both.

I so appreciate the gift of your friendships.  The loyal friends who have continued to stop in and stay in touch, sending me caring emails about my welfare.  You know who you are and you mean the world to me.  I love each of you dear friends...

Belong to Yourself...

Art by Anahata Katkin

www.mypapayaart.com

repinned on Pinterest

knowing and owning

connecting within to grow

belong to yourself

~dkb~

Wisdom From the Wise...

"We are what we repeatedly do.

Excellence, therefore,

is not an act but a habit."

Aristotle

"There is more to life than

increasing its speed."

Mahatma Ghandi

Magpie #101:

Photo prompt by Tess Kincaid

Challenge hostessed by Magpie Tales

strapped submission

oh naked fetal female

perch upon my whim

~dkb~

God Bless the Divers, Rescue Crew and Salvage Co....

New photographs were posted online of the Costa Concordia on January 13, 2012 as well as a list of the confirmed dead and still missing.  I can't help but fear some of the missing could be pinned underneath the side of the ship submerged in the water...The pictures show the ship listing over, very close to shore, with the few lifeboats available full of fleeing survivors...  (See the link below to view the pictures and read the article...)

A 35 Italian hairdresser, Giovanni Di Mauro, was reported being the last to leave the ship after staying on board for over seven hours helping passengers evacuate the ship. Quite a contrast to the "Captain" who says he fell off the ship and landed in a lifeboat.  What a crock!


Sixteen bodies have been confirmed dead.  Three other bodies have been recovered but not identified.  

Still missing are the American couple, Barbara and Gerald Heil of Minnesota, 5 year old Dayana Ariotti and her father, William Ariotti of Italy. Also, Elisabeth Bauer of Germany, Michael Biemand of France, Christina Mathi Ganz of Germany, Norbert Josef Ganz of Germany, Girolamo Giuseppe of Italy- crew member, Gabriele Grube of Germany, Mylene Litzler of France, Margarethe Neth of Germany, Russel Rebello of India - crew member, Inge Schall of Germany, Erica Soriamolina of Peru - crew member, Siglinde Stumpf of Germany, Brunhild Werp of Germany, Margrit Schroeter of Germany and Maria Grazia Trecarichi of Italy.

I pray for all these families, but Susy, the mother of the missing five year old Dayana and former wife to Dayana's father, really hurts my heart.  As a mother of two daughters, remembering when they were so small, feeling so protective, I just ache for her and continue to keep her and her family, as well as all the others in my prayers.  Mr. Ariotti's girlfriend survived but was separated from Dayana and William in the crush of panic as everyone rushed toward the life boats.  Normally, it is the women and children who would be placed in the safety of the  life boats first.

God Bless all the divers, the rescue crew for risking their lives to find these poor souls whose lives were cut short due to this terrible tragedy.  I just cannot imagine the emotional pain and anguish the awaiting family and friends are going through, waiting for news of their loved ones...

God Bless SMIT the Dutch salvage company doing their best to remove all the fuel on board to prevent the contamination to the pristine water sanctuary there in Giglio, Italy. 

It has been reported that some wealthy Russian passengers stuffed money into the hands and pockets of the crew manning the life boats on the fated Costa Concordia cruise ship now half submerged off the coast of Tuscany in Italy...  Although the cruise had only been underway 2 and a half hours, the emergency escape plan was not scheduled until the next day.  Possibly scheduling it sooner could have prevented the panic and the "every man for himself" attitude which prevailed according to most of the reports from survivors.
See link below to read the entire article from MailOnline News...

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2091752/Costa-Concordia-accident-Rich-Russians-bribed-way-lifeboats.html

Be Brave...

image from Pinterest

                                 Source: couragehopestrength                             

I Am The Shark...

from google images




I am the shark.

The deep dark waters of the night,

Ripple away the earth.

The weed of the sea,

Plants its black roots in the remains.

Sun casts my sight,

To find the way of sleep.

Wooden ships my fear,

Red puddles flow for me.

Squirming flesh crawls 'til surface,

Haunting screams my eternity.

Hunger my searching nightmare.

Rock is my home.

Pearls my prey.

Shells are the shoulders of my past.

The pound of the waves hides a treasure,

Opened only to the dive of time.

My kind weaves the wind that pulls the sail,

And latches the quiet of each man's rug.

~epl and dkb~

Covina, CA 1963

This poem was written by my girlfriend El and myself, one afternoon over hot tea and chocolate chip cookies after a walk in the rain...I was fascinated with sharks at the time, reading everything I could get my hands on, so it was often a topic of my conversations...  We began the poem walking in the rain, alternating lines back and forth...then rushing to her house to write it all down... We need to collaborate more my friend...and I miss our walks and talks.