"All of life's
BIG PROBLEMS,
include the words:
'indictment' or 'inoperable'.
Everything else
is small stuff."
~Alton Brown~
Monday, July 26, 2010
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Wordage: Flatulence, n. Emergency Vehicle That Picks Up Someone Who Has Been Run Over By A Steamroller...
Whoops, this post did not automatically post like it was suppose to.... Sorry about that...
here is the Second Batch
The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.. And the winners are:
1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.
6. Negligent, adj. Absent-mindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown..
7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle, n. Olive oil-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence, n.. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
here is the Second Batch
The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.. And the winners are:
1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.
6. Negligent, adj. Absent-mindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown..
7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle, n. Olive oil-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence, n.. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Wordage: Arachnoleptic Fit (n) The Frantic Dance Performed Just After You've Accidentally Walked Through A Spider Web...
Every once in awhile, I pull out some of my favorite funnies and have a good laugh. This is one of them:
The Washington Post published a Style Invitational (aka The Mensa Invitational) where readers were asked to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing letters, and supply a new definition. Here are the winners:
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time..
2. Ignoranus (n.): A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxication (n.): Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4.*** Omitted due to possible offense, which is not my intention.***
5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy (n.): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti (n.): Vandalism spray-painted very,very high.
8. Sarchasm (n.): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the Person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte (v.): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Osteopornosis (n.): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon (n.): It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido (n.): All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler effect (n.): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at two or three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
The Washington Post published a Style Invitational (aka The Mensa Invitational) where readers were asked to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing letters, and supply a new definition. Here are the winners:
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time..
2. Ignoranus (n.): A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxication (n.): Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4.*** Omitted due to possible offense, which is not my intention.***
5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy (n.): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti (n.): Vandalism spray-painted very,very high.
8. Sarchasm (n.): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the Person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte (v.): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Osteopornosis (n.): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon (n.): It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido (n.): All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler effect (n.): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at two or three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Rum, Diet Pepsi and Crab Fishing...
OK...I was a busy beaver today. I net shared my Windows iTunes library with my Apple Mac Book iTunes library. Uploaded three Chicago disks to my Apple mac. Sync'd my iTouch iPod to my MacBook, and have been organizing the iTunes library and getting it all cleaned up.
I love listening to my iPod. I have a little bit of everything on there, from the 50's to current, to comedy to classical. I had a bunch of mp3 tunes my girlfriend gave to me and I am still working on it to get it all in alphabetical order.
I hate taking medication. I have been taking the 800mg Motrin for my back...so tonight, since I am feeling so much better, I decided on a nice rum and diet Pepsi. Very relaxing...
Izzy did great in the kitchen last night. We left her four hours. I was telling one of my blogging friends today, this kitchen thing may work out nicely when I vacuum or wash floors. She likes to attack the vacuum and it is too big of a hassle to keep telling to her to "quit". I usually lock her outside on the patio, but it is too hot to do that to her during the summer.
I am looking forward to watching SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE tonight. Love that show.
Last night while taking it easy, I watched the two hour special on Discovery Channel of Captain Phil Harris, one of the several Crab Fishermen profiled on the reality show, DEADLIEST CATCH. I am totally addicted that show! I have been watching it since 2005. He was a gnarly Captain of the Cornelia Marie with an x rated mouth, but a good man none the less. He fishes the Bering Sea for King Crab.
It was a very touching two hours. He lived life on his terms and was very rough around the edges, but he takes care of his family and his crew.
Does anyone watch that show? He leaves behind his x wife and two sons, Josh and Jake. No doubt the rest of the Captains and crew will keep strong connections with the boys, especially Captain Jonathan Hillstrand on the Time Bandit.
If any of you enjoy crab legs or crab salad or crab in any food form, it was most likely caught by one of the boats on DEADLIEST CATCH.
I love listening to my iPod. I have a little bit of everything on there, from the 50's to current, to comedy to classical. I had a bunch of mp3 tunes my girlfriend gave to me and I am still working on it to get it all in alphabetical order.
I hate taking medication. I have been taking the 800mg Motrin for my back...so tonight, since I am feeling so much better, I decided on a nice rum and diet Pepsi. Very relaxing...
Izzy did great in the kitchen last night. We left her four hours. I was telling one of my blogging friends today, this kitchen thing may work out nicely when I vacuum or wash floors. She likes to attack the vacuum and it is too big of a hassle to keep telling to her to "quit". I usually lock her outside on the patio, but it is too hot to do that to her during the summer.
I am looking forward to watching SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE tonight. Love that show.
Last night while taking it easy, I watched the two hour special on Discovery Channel of Captain Phil Harris, one of the several Crab Fishermen profiled on the reality show, DEADLIEST CATCH. I am totally addicted that show! I have been watching it since 2005. He was a gnarly Captain of the Cornelia Marie with an x rated mouth, but a good man none the less. He fishes the Bering Sea for King Crab.
It was a very touching two hours. He lived life on his terms and was very rough around the edges, but he takes care of his family and his crew.
Does anyone watch that show? He leaves behind his x wife and two sons, Josh and Jake. No doubt the rest of the Captains and crew will keep strong connections with the boys, especially Captain Jonathan Hillstrand on the Time Bandit.
If any of you enjoy crab legs or crab salad or crab in any food form, it was most likely caught by one of the boats on DEADLIEST CATCH.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Thank You To Whoever Invented ICY HOT Packs.....
My back is improving,thanks to ICY HOT PACKS. I was able to walk Izzy this morning, take her to get groomed, meet my husband for lunch and do some rummaging around some thrift stores. I found a Vera Bradley wallet/checkbook holder for .49 cents. I found some socks with Kocopelli designs and some pink ones with tiny red hearts....99 cents each. I found a dog bed with a zipper cover so I could wash it, for $5 and a cute soft, rosebud printed baby blanket with Sweetheart embroidered on one corner...for $1.99. Perfect for Izzy's bed.
I also found two baby gates for a total of $8. They are normally $10-$12 each, at Walmart. My girlfriend up the street, has the same model house we do, and we walk our dogs together. She puts her dog in the kitchen area and puts up the baby gates. We put Izzy in her crate when we go out, otherwise she will go outside the dogie door and bark at anyone opening their garage or anyone walking a big dog. We don't want her to disturb the neighbors, so we lock her up.
When I leave during the day, she has the run of the house and uses her doggy door when she needs "to go". She rarely barks during the day, only at night, I guess to protect her packs property. She looks so forlorn, like she is being punished when we put her in there...so we might try putting her in the kitchen when we leave and see how she does.
My husband is so glad I am feeling better and moving around, he told me to be ready when he gets home, because he is taking me out to dinner. I have a coupon for a two for one dinner at Sunset Station's Buffet.
Better get myself freshened up. Thank you everyone for all your well wishes and kind thoughts.
I also found two baby gates for a total of $8. They are normally $10-$12 each, at Walmart. My girlfriend up the street, has the same model house we do, and we walk our dogs together. She puts her dog in the kitchen area and puts up the baby gates. We put Izzy in her crate when we go out, otherwise she will go outside the dogie door and bark at anyone opening their garage or anyone walking a big dog. We don't want her to disturb the neighbors, so we lock her up.
When I leave during the day, she has the run of the house and uses her doggy door when she needs "to go". She rarely barks during the day, only at night, I guess to protect her packs property. She looks so forlorn, like she is being punished when we put her in there...so we might try putting her in the kitchen when we leave and see how she does.
My husband is so glad I am feeling better and moving around, he told me to be ready when he gets home, because he is taking me out to dinner. I have a coupon for a two for one dinner at Sunset Station's Buffet.
Better get myself freshened up. Thank you everyone for all your well wishes and kind thoughts.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Thankfulness...
Thank you so much for the feed back, support, and understanding. I write for myself, in order to grow, learn and communicate. When someone relates to my thoughts, igniting a thought they in turn share, it invigorates me, hearing an other's truth, and it always makes me feel alive and stimulated ...as part of the circle of life. We are all in this world together, united by far more than we realize.
I do over analyze and dissect things...I have always been hyper vigilant...
but, if I cut away all of my wondering, pondering and pause,
I would be proud if the highlights of my 63 years of my life were:
To be here.
To have the gift of sight.
To have the ability to speak and communicate.
To be healthy and capable
To have the ability to move and dance.
To be my parents daughter,
To be my two daughters Mother,
To be my two grandsons, (soon to be three) Grandma "Teataw"...
To be my Sister's sister and best friend,
To be my Father's Advocate and first born child,
To be my five brothers sister,
To be my husband's wife and partner for the rest of our life together,
To be step mother to my husband's six children,
To be step grandmother to his six grand children.
To be the Care taker of all the animals I have loved.
To be Friends with all my wonderful friends, who bless my life.
To purchase a home on my own, after my divorce, for my daughters and myself
Writing in all my journals for the past forty five years.
Painting "STAR GAZER", which hangs in my sister's house
Doing these blogs,
Meeting all you wonderful bloggers,
And knowing each day is a gift.
I do over analyze and dissect things...I have always been hyper vigilant...
but, if I cut away all of my wondering, pondering and pause,
I would be proud if the highlights of my 63 years of my life were:
To be here.
To have the gift of sight.
To have the ability to speak and communicate.
To be healthy and capable
To have the ability to move and dance.
To be my parents daughter,
To be my two daughters Mother,
To be my two grandsons, (soon to be three) Grandma "Teataw"...
To be my Sister's sister and best friend,
To be my Father's Advocate and first born child,
To be my five brothers sister,
To be my husband's wife and partner for the rest of our life together,
To be step mother to my husband's six children,
To be step grandmother to his six grand children.
To be the Care taker of all the animals I have loved.
To be Friends with all my wonderful friends, who bless my life.
To purchase a home on my own, after my divorce, for my daughters and myself
Writing in all my journals for the past forty five years.
Painting "STAR GAZER", which hangs in my sister's house
Doing these blogs,
Meeting all you wonderful bloggers,
And knowing each day is a gift.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Brailling My Way Through...
I haven't written much lately...I am searching for answers and I don't have any. I have been posting quotes, poems, trying to put "my best foot forward" and stay positive. Hoping some enlightenment comes my way. I have been afraid to write what I feel, for fear my depression, lack of direction (or whatever I perceive this to be) would bleed through. Today, I don't seem to care, so here goes...
If I am seeking my truth, I certainly cannot hide from it. My feelings are my feelings, right? I am allowed "down time". Maybe I have already become too boring. My initial motivation for this blog is to discover and explore. I want to dig around and question my reality. Just "hoping for the best" is not good enough. I want to peel back layers. I want to unearth and examine. I admit my frustration at not finding any answers, but I WILL find them. I will risk judgment. I need to know. I want my life to have meaning and purpose.
I feel I am blindfolded some times, bumping into the days in my life, with little making much sense. I feel, many days, I just am Brailling my way through my life.. Often, if we can't see some thing, we don't trust it. I feel some thing coming, I just don't know what it is or when it will arrive. I must remember to have faith and trust my instincts. Times like this, I get impatient and down...it is not happening fast enough for me...
I have been "busying myself" working on my office, and de-cluttering. Things I do when I feel out of control or aimless. My office is where I spend the majority of my time. I am always on the computer and often listening to music or have something on the TV. I am trying to make it more inspiring as I am contemplating doing a book about my Father, who as some of you know, has Alzheimer's. My recent conversation with a published author, confirmed I am on the right path...
I believe when we send our hopes and dreams out into the world, either spoken or in thought. That energy or motivation, ignites some other energy, and "signs" (for lack of a better word) begin to appear... It's like a seed that is planted. If the soil is fertile, it will grow. If we lose interest, it disintegrates and never germinates.
The weather is miserable now, so gathering and outlining are crucial in laying the ground work, and giving the seed time to germinate...the up and down of uncertainty, self doubt, isolation, home sickness, and missing one on one contact, makes the days seem like a thick forest with dense, sharp branches. No path to follow and I must blaze my own trail...
We're in triple digits now. June, July and August are the hottest months all year. July through September is the monsoon season. I HATE THE HEAT, so it is another reason to stay in doors. More isolation. Some days, I strip down and return to bed, cooled by the AC and the ceiling fan swirling the cold air around me. I can go anywhere and do anything in my dreams...
Yesterday, while surfing and visiting the blogs of my blog friends, I happened to read a comment by a woman named DJan, that really touched me. I went to her blog and was moved to tears. Her honesty and courage in her writing, touched me at my core. I felt a connection and could relate to so much of what she wrote about...http://eyeontheedge.blogspot.com/ Do yourself a favor and visit her blog.
After reading both her blogs, I began to write in my journal. I cannot dance around the truth. Time is not on my side. Reading about her sky diving, hiking, and being older than I. She puts her life out there, raw and uncensored, because she wants the answers. I really admire her.
I am growing older and realize I am in the process of figuring out what my life stands for... when ever I write on my blog, and hold myself back, afraid to write what I really want to write, I feel I cheated myself. The disappointment prevents me from moving forward to where I wish to be.
The times I have risked putting out my raw feelings, as I do some times in my poetry, I have gotten feed back from some who get it, and understand. (This is one example of many, why blogging is so important to be. Meeting people I would never have the opportunity to meet and be invited into their lives.) For some reason, my poetry is not as threatening, as writing is; as I am now...completely exposing myself. It does set me free though...it feels so good to let it go and let it be.... How else can I be myself?
So many questions flood my mind:
What purpose did I or or will I serve by my presence?
What difference does my life make?
What have I learned from where I came from?
How can I make my life better?
What will happen when I die?
What is this time and place where I find myself now?
How do I make sense of what filters through me?
How do I make myself better?
Am I destined to live so far from my family?
Is the reason I am here, now, to write this book?
Dare I dream to publish a book?
All these questions are why I started this blog. My query out to the world. An invitation to gather information, share, learn from others, and from the perspective of the location around us. We learn lessons every day. The strangers, the friends, the family, who reflect who we are as individuals. Maybe, through our interactions with others, do we really see and understand who we are....
If I am seeking my truth, I certainly cannot hide from it. My feelings are my feelings, right? I am allowed "down time". Maybe I have already become too boring. My initial motivation for this blog is to discover and explore. I want to dig around and question my reality. Just "hoping for the best" is not good enough. I want to peel back layers. I want to unearth and examine. I admit my frustration at not finding any answers, but I WILL find them. I will risk judgment. I need to know. I want my life to have meaning and purpose.
I feel I am blindfolded some times, bumping into the days in my life, with little making much sense. I feel, many days, I just am Brailling my way through my life.. Often, if we can't see some thing, we don't trust it. I feel some thing coming, I just don't know what it is or when it will arrive. I must remember to have faith and trust my instincts. Times like this, I get impatient and down...it is not happening fast enough for me...
I have been "busying myself" working on my office, and de-cluttering. Things I do when I feel out of control or aimless. My office is where I spend the majority of my time. I am always on the computer and often listening to music or have something on the TV. I am trying to make it more inspiring as I am contemplating doing a book about my Father, who as some of you know, has Alzheimer's. My recent conversation with a published author, confirmed I am on the right path...
I believe when we send our hopes and dreams out into the world, either spoken or in thought. That energy or motivation, ignites some other energy, and "signs" (for lack of a better word) begin to appear... It's like a seed that is planted. If the soil is fertile, it will grow. If we lose interest, it disintegrates and never germinates.
The weather is miserable now, so gathering and outlining are crucial in laying the ground work, and giving the seed time to germinate...the up and down of uncertainty, self doubt, isolation, home sickness, and missing one on one contact, makes the days seem like a thick forest with dense, sharp branches. No path to follow and I must blaze my own trail...
We're in triple digits now. June, July and August are the hottest months all year. July through September is the monsoon season. I HATE THE HEAT, so it is another reason to stay in doors. More isolation. Some days, I strip down and return to bed, cooled by the AC and the ceiling fan swirling the cold air around me. I can go anywhere and do anything in my dreams...
Yesterday, while surfing and visiting the blogs of my blog friends, I happened to read a comment by a woman named DJan, that really touched me. I went to her blog and was moved to tears. Her honesty and courage in her writing, touched me at my core. I felt a connection and could relate to so much of what she wrote about...http://eyeontheedge.blogspot.com/ Do yourself a favor and visit her blog.
After reading both her blogs, I began to write in my journal. I cannot dance around the truth. Time is not on my side. Reading about her sky diving, hiking, and being older than I. She puts her life out there, raw and uncensored, because she wants the answers. I really admire her.
I am growing older and realize I am in the process of figuring out what my life stands for... when ever I write on my blog, and hold myself back, afraid to write what I really want to write, I feel I cheated myself. The disappointment prevents me from moving forward to where I wish to be.
The times I have risked putting out my raw feelings, as I do some times in my poetry, I have gotten feed back from some who get it, and understand. (This is one example of many, why blogging is so important to be. Meeting people I would never have the opportunity to meet and be invited into their lives.) For some reason, my poetry is not as threatening, as writing is; as I am now...completely exposing myself. It does set me free though...it feels so good to let it go and let it be.... How else can I be myself?
So many questions flood my mind:
What purpose did I or or will I serve by my presence?
What difference does my life make?
What have I learned from where I came from?
How can I make my life better?
What will happen when I die?
What is this time and place where I find myself now?
How do I make sense of what filters through me?
How do I make myself better?
Am I destined to live so far from my family?
Is the reason I am here, now, to write this book?
Dare I dream to publish a book?
All these questions are why I started this blog. My query out to the world. An invitation to gather information, share, learn from others, and from the perspective of the location around us. We learn lessons every day. The strangers, the friends, the family, who reflect who we are as individuals. Maybe, through our interactions with others, do we really see and understand who we are....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)