Each of Us...

"Each of us is meant to have a character all their own,

to be what no other can exactly be,

and do what no other can exactly do."

William Ellery Channing

What Lies Within Us...

What lies before us and what lies behind us

are small matters compared to

what lies within us.

And when we bring what is within

out into the world,

miracles happen.

Henry David Thoreau

This recent, global horror from the shooting down of Malaysian Airlines flight 17, shocks me, repulses me and leaves me wondering about the future of this world...

I think despicable actions of a minority of people, affecting various countries, more often then not, unite people.  We feel helpless, but we feel compassionate and want to reach out in some manner to the families and friends of the passengers and crew of this ill fated Airlines.  

We most certainly share the loss, as we all can relate and realize this appears to be happening more and more. God forbid it would happen to anyone we know and love...but I am certain, this is a universal thought of everyone, including those grieving now...never in a million years, thinking it would happen to them...

Yes, they may live in different countries across the world...thousands of miles away from us...but they each were some one's child, parent,  grand parent, sibling, partner, spouse, friend...and isn't that universal?  We all love, want to be loved in return, and to protect those we love.  We all laugh.  We all love. We all grieve....

We still are in disbelief at yet another Malaysian Airlines flight 370 which disappeared a little over four months ago and still has not been found.  I read search crews will resume August 1, 2014.

It reminds me how very important it is to live one's life to the fullest, leave nothing left unsaid, pursue your dreams with great passion and spend as much time with friends and loved ones.  Events like this remind us all how uncertain life is and which day will be our last day on this earth.

Watching the news coverage, I can't help feeling such a sadness with the loss of so many wonderful people in both Malaysian flights.  Scientists, researchers, Engineers, Inventors, Entrepreneurs, Teachers, Athletes, Students, innocent children and infants, snatched away before experiencing the lives they could have /continued/lead and the distinction their lives would have made in this world.

Each of us are works of wonder with tremendous potential, unique with talents and skills to share with our world; be it the influence within a family and circle of friends, a community, a state, a country, or a maximum global stature.  Each of us matter.  Each of us are important.

We will have our differences and I wish those differences were not threatening to so many...but they are....they just are...and we as individuals will encounter this challenge and learn to deal with it.  Ultimately, each of us are responsible for ourselves.  We must challenge ourselves to learn enough to realize we can agree to disagree and not lose any dignity.

Some of us have it completely wrong.  According to Brené Brown, Vulnerability is not weak, it is strong.  To lead a life, speaking one's truth, living in the unknown with uncertainty around us is very brave. Extremism is weak because it is rooted in shame. We can't do anything with shame...it is negative and destructive. Shame is ultimately fear. Afraid of the discovery that someone will find out about some inadequacy from being exposed... Attempting to control, insistence, rigidity, disapproval, intolerance, judgment is all bred from fear...

The older I get, I find it is more exhausting to hide anything!  It takes too much effort.  Futile effort...because we can never please everyone...and those who love and understand us, will always forgive us.  I've found the more vulnerable or honest I am, the more people seem to relate to me... Besides, I like who I am and if someone doesn't approve it's OK with me..."To each his own self be true".  I am OK with a difference of opinion....even if it is a polar opposite of what I believe to be true...

Yes, some times my instincts become alerted if someone disagrees loudly, or starts to attack me verbally.  I do my best to stay calm and if the situation continues to escalate by the other person, who is not satisfied with my suggestion to "agree to disagree" then I politely excuse myself and move on...

After viewing all the news lately, I cannot help but feel very blessed and thankful to live in these United States.  I cannot imagine not being able to sleep for fear my loved ones may be bombed, injured, maimed or killed!  Let alone waking to discover I survived the night but must herd all my loved ones and friends into a car, or wagon and leave my home and belongings behind to get as far away from my home as possible so we are not killed.

I find it so tragic to have such differences of opinion or belief so strongly one feels justified to kill to be right or get what they want.  Call me naive, and I realize I am trivializing a very complex, ongoing battle of differences... but for me, it is the bottom line.

I started this particular blog to discover the purpose of my life and to have like minded discussions with other people searching along the same path.  I wanted to hear and to learn how other's discovered their life purpose.

Personally, I would have to say, despite various ambitions to explore my creativity, my core concern has been family, friends, to be of service and to strive for enlightenment.
For me, an abundant life is a happy life shared with those I love and meeting new people who may or may not become friends.  I really enjoy learning and sharing.  I think I would classify myself as a "connector".  I seem to connect with all kinds of people.

How about you?  How do you feel?

Tragedy and Hope...

"A strange thing is memory and hope; one looks backward and the other forward; one is of today, the other of tomorrow.  Memory is history recorded in our brain, memory is a painter, it paints pictures of the past and of the day."

`Abba Mary Robertson Moses…aka Grandma Moses

The world waits, hopes and helps search 

for Malaysian Airlines Flight 370

Frustrations mount prompting

creative extensions of compassion

outpouring of support and prayer

Aching hearts 

unimaginable anguish

tortured minds unable to sleep

unbearable longing
despicable miscommunication

cruel tug of war 

of hope and horror

suicidal thoughts

in losing one's only child

a horrific magnitude of negative thought

no one can adequately relate

yet such a universal nightmare

one never wishes to experience.

Sending prayers and grace

hope and prayer

to every single family, friend and loved one…

~©dkb

Positive Thoughts For a Better Life...

"Some days are better,
  Some days are worse.
  Look at the Blessing,
  Instead of the curse.
  Be positive, stay strong
  and get plenty of rest.
  You can't do it all,
  But you can do your best."

-- Doe Zantamata

Cookin' Up Something Good...

"Writing is what we make from the broth of our experience..."

-- Julia Cameron from The Writer's Life Insights from the RIGHT to WRITE.

The Learning Years....

" There are years that ask questions and years that answer..."

-- Zora Neale Hurston

On Feeling "Uncreative"...

"One must also accept that one has "uncreative" moments.  The more honestly one can accept that, the quicker these moments will pass.  One must have the courage to call a halt, to feel empty and discouraged."

-- Etty Hillesum


Hellish heat permeates the barrage of depressing news
Days of drilling within
Tapping into nuggets of creativity
Restoring the sadness of soul

Some days there is nothing
Courage is required of patience
Drawing upon inner faith of self
Remembering the source of Perfection

Like smooth, quiet waters bring calm
Be the calm
Be the quiet
Gather the peace
Be ready for the big wave of inspiration

~©dkb

Interest in Life...

"Develop interest in life as you see it; in people, things, literature, music -- the world is so rich, simply throbbing with rich treasures, beautiful souls and interesting people.  Forget yourself."

-- Henry Miller

I Choose to Bless This Life...

"Bless a thing and it will bless you.
Curse it and it will curse you...
If you bless a situation, 
it has no power to hurt you,
and even if it is troublesome,
it will gradually fade out,
if you sincerely bless it."

- Emmet Fox

The older I get, the more I realize how true this quote really is.  I am challenging myself to concentrate on faith and bless a particular situation, knowing worry will not help or solve anything.  Our lives unfold and events happen...  Often we don't like the results, but disliking it and getting all worked up only make it worse.

I've been a "worry wart" so much of my life and the only thing it did for me was make me nervous, negative, fearful and insecure.  When I learned to embrace change instead of fight it, I feel my life flows better.

My husband is always saying, "It is what it is" and "Everything happens for  a reason"; and his philosophy has influenced me for the better...  For a long time I felt this was a cop out.  In my younger days I was a warrior and fought for my principals.  Not that I don't today, but often what I thought were battles were really my not liking the outcome of something. More and more now I see the wisdom in not sweating the small stuff...and really, most of the time, it is ALL little stuff when placed in perspective of an entire life.

Circumstances often challenge, but the more I tell myself "You can handle this", the easier it becomes...
Doubting myself is like slapping myself across the face.  Who needs that?

One of my most stressful times of my life was after my divorce, raising my two daughters alone.   I suppose struggling to make a living for us, often working two or three jobs, was a big part of it.  I wanted to keep my girls in private school and knowing I was in it pretty much alone as a single Mom with full custody was extremely stressful.  I had a lot of doubts in my ability to hold it together but by doing it I learned how strong and capable I am.

My daughters are now grown with their own families and I get to bask in the joy and pride of how capable and strong they are.  Raising them I was the teacher,  the comforter, the protector, the provider, the problem solver, the enforcer, and it was challenging.  Now, despite living further away, I am called upon when needed and occasionally invited to share my opinion.

Living a life of purpose has always been my focus.  Being retired and not having the responsibility of raising a family can often feel aimless and without purpose.  I don't want to allow the fact of my aging to become an excuse to slow down and lose my vision.

I have to confess, I have cursed having to stay here in Nevada, being further from my children, grandchildren and large circle of family and friends. We came here originally for a better job for my husband and planned to return to California when he retired.  No one had any idea the economy and housing market would fall off a cliff as it has....

I have decided to bless the fact we are living here now.  I will have faith and believe our lives will continue to weave and enter twine despite the distance because we love one another and are a close family. I hope one day soon we will eventually live closer, but in the mean time, I accept and bless our lives as they are now.  Cursing my situation will only make me feel full of regret, hopelessness and misery.  The last thing I want to do is burden my family with a negative attitude.

So today, I submit this vow into the Universe and pledge to see more blessings and do a lot less cursing and complaining...  You all are my witnesses.

Conscious Choices....

Pinterest image: http://pinterest.com/judybelmont

each
and every day
we live and learn
hopefully
most of our choices
are conscious ones
generated from within
through what we've learned
through our parents
and living
experiencing on our own

we do the best
we can
knowing we are
imperfect
but growing
open to vulnerability
because
it is the only way
to courage

©~dkb~

A Request..

"A criticism is just a really bad way to make a request...so why not just make the request?"

Example: "Could we find a way to make this thing which upsets me so much, go away?"

from Diane Sawyer on Oprah's Master Class

I just LOVE this...and want to implement it into my life.

Parenting Manifesto...

"Above all else,

I want you to know

that you are loved and lovable.

You will learn this from

my words and actions...

You will learn that you

are worthy of love,

belonging,

and joy every time

you see me practice

self-compassion and embrace

my own imperfections.

We will laugh and sing

and dance and create.

We will always have permission

to be ourselves

with each other.

No matter what,

you will always belong here.

As you begin your

Wholehearted journey,

the greatest gift

that I can give to you

is to live and love

with my whole heart and 

to dare greatly."

Brené Brown

from her book, Daring Greatly

Connection....

"Connection is the energy that is created between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment."    -- Brené Brown

Brené Brown's TED Talk on The Power of Vulnerability. 20 minutes.

Skillful Sailors...

Bing images

 

"Smooth waters don't make skillful sailors."  

African proverb

Somedays...Catching Myself Smiling

 generated by laughitout . tumblr

from my Pinterest boards

It's really nippy outside

but thankfully

my ankle is doing so much better

Feels good to be walking again

instead of limping in pain

taking it slow and easy

is a new pattern for me

but if it means my ankle gets better

I will do it!

Baby steps are often 

more successful

than rushing in and burning out

losing a few pounds

remembering the tortoise and the hare story

More and more I see the benefits

of making my own self happy

instead of depending on others to do it

It is a choice

It is a mind set

It is a decision

It is up to me

Hectic, busy times ahead

and I will take it 

one day at a time...

I like it when I pass a mirror

and catch myself smiling...

©~dkb~

Destiny....

Your Life...

"Time decides who you meet in life,
The heart decides who you want in your life,
But your behavior decides who will stay in your life.
Surround yourself with only the people who treat you well."

~~~unknown quote origin~~~

Shared by friend in Yoga class

Persistence...

"As long as we have persistence in our pursuit of our deepest destiny, we can continue to grow. 
We cannot choose the day or time we will fully bloom.
It happens in its own time."

Denis Waitley

Time...

“Time is an equal opportunity employer. Each human being has exactly the same number of hours and minutes every day. Rich people can't buy more hours. Scientists can't invent new minutes. And you can't save time to spend it on another day. Even so, time is amazingly fair and forgiving. No matter how much time you've wasted in the past, you still have an entire tomorrow.” 

― Denis Waitley

Happiness....

"Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned,
 worn or consumed.

 Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute

 with love, grace and gratitude."

Denis Waitley