Discovering The Purpose of Our Lives...

Changing it Up Ninja Style...

2012-02-13T17:07:00.000-08:00

Wish I knew more about food combinations best suited to my body type to lose weight fast...the last nutritionist I went to had me drinking Carnation Instant Breakfast for breakfast, drinking 8/8oz of water daily, frozen meals for lunch and watching my portions at night with no potatoes, white anything or bread. I lost 5 pounds, but was sick of the food...and gained it back.

I watched Dr. Oz today. He showed fat burning meals for Big Bottoms, Big Middles, Big Tops and Big Thighs... I wrote down the one for Big Middles...it was a whole grain English muffin, olive oil, Swiss cheese, avocado slices, tomato slices, poached egg with cherry tomatoes on the side. In addition, he suggested taking 1000mg of CLA (Conjugated Linoleic Acid) with it to facilitate the fat burning. He suggested eating this mega breakfast every day for five consecutive days. I didn't have the avocados or the CLA, but it was tasty.

I realize everyone has to be proactive and responsible when Dr. Oz suggests these things. In an hour show he cannot give all the precautions or conflicts with individuals health issues.... so each of us have to google and investigate on our own.

He also discussed the benefits of Raspberry Keytones and to start with 100mg, working up to 300mg. This supplement, equivalent to eating 90 pounds of Raspberries, tricks the body into thinking it is skinny and supposedly, the pounds fall off.

I googled it and found if someone has heart issues or thyroid issues it could have dire side effects, or lead to thyroid problems. It suggested not being on it for more than 3 months. I am kind of surprised he did not advise to check with one's doctor first...

I could not get myself to go to the gym and deal with the irritating gym goers, so I dressed like a ninja to protect myself from the winds and jogged around the hills of our neighborhood. When I cover my mouth and nose with a scarf, my breath fogs up my glasses. I don't dare jog without them. It looks like we might get some rain or a small storm...it is cold today.

The gym protocol is to wipe the machine you use after use with a disinfectant. First off, I HATE the smell of whatever that stuff is in the spa bottle. Being the germ a phobic person I am, I wipe down the machine BEFORE and AFTER, mainly because I see so many NOT WIPING DOWN the machine after they finish. I also see people who wet a paper towel with the disinfectant and then carry the same towel to each machine they go to and use it to wipe down the machine and their sweat from their forehead....GROSS!

When I go to the gym, it is like going into the dentist office for a root canal. I want to get in and get it over with as soon as possible. Invariably, there is someone I knew from computer class or art class who wants to catch up, which I don't mind...but we have re-elections going on for our board members and there is a lot of controversy right now since the board members decided to build a full kitchen to use only for club functions. There is a lot of grumbling going on due to this, so consequently, residents have their strong opinions on which board members should be not re-elected...

The last thing I need in my life right now (or ever) is DRAMA and GOSSIP! Some times I can zip in and zip out of the gym...but too often, I get snagged and cannot figure a way to graciously excuse myself...

How do people keep looking nice when they work out regularly? I have given up with my hair. I am over due for a hair cut, but decided, as motivation, I could not get my hair done until I lose at least ten pounds. My face stays red and splotchy for over an hour when I get home...I have dry hair, so normally, I wash it every three or four days...I can even go a week....but NOT when I am working out and getting all sweaty! I am washing it almost every day and it is drying out even more! I look like hell...

When my husband and I go out, he turns to me and asks, "Are you going to brush your hair?" I tell him NO, it won't help. Get used to it. This is me until I lose ten pounds... Maybe that is why we have been staying home lately...

Magpie #104

2012-02-12T11:14:00.000-08:00

photo prompt from Tess Kincaid

hostess and challenge from Magpie Tales

embrace differences gently

never black or white

individuals unite

~dkb~

In The Zone...

2012-02-09T10:58:00.000-08:00

Got a lot going on today with gardeners blowing out the rock in our yard....estimates from two more Paver companies, getting everything ready for my daughter arriving tomorrow... So I had to get up extra early and get to the gym to do my work out...

These past 8 days I have been working out, I have given some private nick names to some of the regulars who also in the gym... "The Sniffer" is a man I think lives in the gym, because no matter what time I come in, he is there on the end, doing the elliptical and he constantly sniffs...more like blows out his nose while working out... extremely irritating. I have to blast my iPod so I don't hear him. Other people working out next to him, often leave mumbling unpleasantries...When I leave he is still going strong on his machine.

Then there is "the Moaner"; a woman who, bless her heart, is determined to drop pounds and inches. She sounds like she is having more fun than how she looks while working out...If you don't look at her, you swear you are listening to an x-rated movie...

"The Slapper" is a short man who runs on the treadmill. He doesn't look heavy, but he slaps his feet so heavily and loud, it sounds like he is wearing swim fins on his feet! He sweats up a storm and sounds like he is going to pass out any minute...

There is a tiny Asian women I call "the Twister" because while walking fast on the treadmill, she moves her hands and arms side to side like she is doing the twist. If I am not focused, my peripheral vision picks up her movements and interferes with my treadmill workout.

I have tried using my earphones to watch TV, looking out at the mountains beyond the gym windows, or using my iPod. Definitely, listening to my iPod is the best.

This morning, I was in the zone, my iPod shuffle was on some great Oldies But Goodies and Neil Diamond...just the right beat to work out to and help me tune out all the noise around me. I got into a rhythm and had my best work out yet.

Today is going to be a great day and tomorrow, EVEN BETTER!

Magpie #103

2012-02-07T22:27:00.000-08:00

a grave at the Novodevichy Cemetery, Moscow

photo from Tess Kincaid

poetry challenge from Magpie Tales aka The Mag

longing gentle clasp of self

capture only kills
ones essence of individuality

~dkb~

It's Going To Be Worth It...

2012-02-07T18:27:00.000-08:00

It's cold today. Overcast, gray clouds, 30% chance of rain and a freezing, biting wind.

We had an estimate this morning from a paving company to re-do the space where our in ground spa used to be... great ideas, but too much money.

Inside, I lay on the carpet doing floor exercises to strengthen my core...As my stomach spasms uncontrollably I grimace in pain and tell myself, "It's going to be worth it...it's going to be worth it..."

A Gift For Myself...

2012-02-04T16:49:00.000-08:00

I originally started this blog as a place of discovery and sharing; to figure out our purpose to become the person we want to be, behind the traditional roles we all live. For me, I wanted to ignite and pursue the creative desires I put on the back burner while raising my kids.

I know I ended up here in Henderson, Nevada due to my husband's pursuit of a better job...which he found, but due to the economy, his career drastically changed working in the business loan banking field.

As you all know, I spend a lot of time complaining about living so far from my family who live in Southern California. Since Nevada leads the nation in foreclosures and short sales, the housing market here SUCKS for sellers, hence, we are STUCK here...for the time being.

Consequently, I have allowed myself to sink into the dark mire of depression and basically eat my loneliness and unhappiness...

No one can make me happy. That job belongs solely to me, so it is my responsibility to snap myself out of it. I was talking to my youngest brother E____ last week, playing my violin of sadness and all the reasons why I have gained so much weight...

"Sounds like you are making a lot of excuses Sis. You have to take action just like the Nike slogan says: Just Do It."

I thought it over and decided to do just that... Since February 1, 2012 I have been going up to our community gym every day and working out for 45 minutes to an hour. I am 5' 7" tall and weigh 188. I am declaring to the world (to make myself accountable) that I hope to lose at least a pound a week, so when I turn 65 this June, I will be at least 170 pounds. My goal is to weigh 160. I have to establish good habits to replace my bad ones.

I think taking weight off my body and making myself more happy is the best gift I can give myself and my loved ones, because it will insure I will be around a while longer and FEEL much better. If I continue on the path I was on, I will keep expanding until I literally EXPLODE!

I weighed 157 when we moved here six years ago. I know this is the land of the GREAT BUFFETS, but I can choose more veggies, fruit and lean protein. There are healthy choices... I am watching my portions and drinking lots of water. I am cutting way back on the white breads, potatoes, crackers, and sweets. I love to eat, so I am enjoying my food, just making better choices and less of them. I am doing my best to re-train myself to eat five little meals rather than "three squares" plus snacking...

I am embarrassed to say how disorienting and exhausting it is changing one's procrastination and sedentary life style to one of action and movement!

I will tell you, as sore as I am, it makes me think twice before I shove something in my mouth because I have first hand experience now on how hard it is sweating to work it off!!! I am stiff and sore in places I did not even know existed...but I am determined to work out every day.

I hope to meet some new friends...couples for my husband and I to go out with or invite over to dinner as well as girlfriends for me.

The exercise has improved my attitude. My new motto is KEEP MOVING. I am still working at finishing off all the projects I didn't finish from 2011. If I do less sitting, which for right now, includes blogging on the computer, I get more exercise and hopefully, will mean losing weight and feeling better.
So please bare with me as I pop in and out for a while longer...

We also have a couple of ongoing household problems: One is the re-plumbing law suit our community has going with the builder. The builder put deficient fittings in our homes which has caused low water pressure, clogged pipes, broken pipes, and leaks. Fortunately, we just have the low water pressure and clogged pipes...no leaks like some residents.

The other is our spa decking was rotting away. There was a lawsuit on it as well...only the suit only pays for the replacement of the supplies to replace the decking. We have to pay for the labor, which was going to be $1900. We decided, since we do not use the spa often enough to justify keeping it (I never wanted it to begin with, this was my husband's idea) we decided to have it removed.

Good thing we decided to take it out because the boards under the decking were not treated wood and were rotting. The decking was deteriorating and the spa shell was beginning to lean to the back towards our next door neighbor's backyard. When the workers lifted the spa, about twenty fat, gray mice ran for shelter...they had made a mouse city inside the insulation of the spa, and a metropolis of intricate pathways underneath the spa in the dirt.

Besides the rotting wood, the decking, the mice, and a new cover, we would have been spending thousands of dollars to fix damage to the spa shell not to mention the chewed wires and hoses.

The hole is now filled with dirt and we plan on putting pavers down then placing a table and chairs there. We'll save considerably on our utilities not having that spa filtering every two hours.

Anyway, that is why I have not been visiting any of you or writing much lately...

It is going to take me awhile to get caught up and then establish a new, more productive routine.

I am in especially good spirits lately as my oldest daughter Holly is coming to visit next Friday for three days. It would be PERFECT if my younger daughter, Jodee could come too...but she could not get off from work. So I will be grateful for our special mother-daughter time... until I go to California in May and see them both.

I so appreciate the gift of your friendships. The loyal friends who have continued to stop in and stay in touch, sending me caring emails about my welfare. You know who you are and you mean the world to me. I love each of you dear friends...

Belong to Yourself...

2012-01-28T21:17:00.000-08:00

Art by Anahata Katkin

www.mypapayaart.com

repinned on Pinterest

knowing and owning

connecting within to grow

belong to yourself

~dkb~

Wisdom From the Wise...

2012-01-27T11:44:00.000-08:00

"We are what we repeatedly do.

Excellence, therefore,

is not an act but a habit."

Aristotle

"There is more to life than

increasing its speed."

Mahatma Ghandi

Magpie #101:

2012-01-26T22:49:00.000-08:00

Photo prompt by Tess Kincaid

Challenge hostessed by Magpie Tales

strapped submission

oh naked fetal female

perch upon my whim

~dkb~

God Bless the Divers, Rescue Crew and Salvage Co....

2012-01-26T12:50:00.000-08:00

New photographs were posted online of the Costa Concordia on January 13, 2012 as well as a list of the confirmed dead and still missing. I can't help but fear some of the missing could be pinned underneath the side of the ship submerged in the water...The pictures show the ship listing over, very close to shore, with the few lifeboats available full of fleeing survivors... (See the link below to view the pictures and read the article...)

A 35 Italian hairdresser, Giovanni Di Mauro, was reported being the last to leave the ship after staying on board for over seven hours helping passengers evacuate the ship. Quite a contrast to the "Captain" who says he fell off the ship and landed in a lifeboat. What a crock!

Sixteen bodies have been confirmed dead. Three other bodies have been recovered but not identified.

Still missing are the American couple, Barbara and Gerald Heil of Minnesota, 5 year old Dayana Ariotti and her father, William Ariotti of Italy. Also, Elisabeth Bauer of Germany, Michael Biemand of France, Christina Mathi Ganz of Germany, Norbert Josef Ganz of Germany, Girolamo Giuseppe of Italy- crew member, Gabriele Grube of Germany, Mylene Litzler of France, Margarethe Neth of Germany, Russel Rebello of India - crew member, Inge Schall of Germany, Erica Soriamolina of Peru - crew member, Siglinde Stumpf of Germany, Brunhild Werp of Germany, Margrit Schroeter of Germany and Maria Grazia Trecarichi of Italy.

I pray for all these families, but Susy, the mother of the missing five year old Dayana and former wife to Dayana's father, really hurts my heart. As a mother of two daughters, remembering when they were so small, feeling so protective, I just ache for her and continue to keep her and her family, as well as all the others in my prayers. Mr. Ariotti's girlfriend survived but was separated from Dayana and William in the crush of panic as everyone rushed toward the life boats. Normally, it is the women and children who would be placed in the safety of the life boats first.

God Bless all the divers, the rescue crew for risking their lives to find these poor souls whose lives were cut short due to this terrible tragedy. I just cannot imagine the emotional pain and anguish the awaiting family and friends are going through, waiting for news of their loved ones...

God Bless SMIT the Dutch salvage company doing their best to remove all the fuel on board to prevent the contamination to the pristine water sanctuary there in Giglio, Italy.

It has been reported that some wealthy Russian passengers stuffed money into the hands and pockets of the crew manning the life boats on the fated Costa Concordia cruise ship now half submerged off the coast of Tuscany in Italy... Although the cruise had only been underway 2 and a half hours, the emergency escape plan was not scheduled until the next day. Possibly scheduling it sooner could have prevented the panic and the "every man for himself" attitude which prevailed according to most of the reports from survivors.
See link below to read the entire article from MailOnline News...

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2091752/Costa-Concordia-accident-Rich-Russians-bribed-way-lifeboats.html

Be Brave...

2012-01-24T22:36:00.000-08:00

image from Pinterest

Source: couragehopestrength

I Am The Shark...

2012-01-20T00:15:00.000-08:00

from google images

I am the shark.

The deep dark waters of the night,

Ripple away the earth.

The weed of the sea,

Plants its black roots in the remains.

Sun casts my sight,

To find the way of sleep.

Wooden ships my fear,

Red puddles flow for me.

Squirming flesh crawls 'til surface,

Haunting screams my eternity.

Hunger my searching nightmare.

Rock is my home.

Pearls my prey.

Shells are the shoulders of my past.

The pound of the waves hides a treasure,

Opened only to the dive of time.

My kind weaves the wind that pulls the sail,

And latches the quiet of each man's rug.

~epl and dkb~

Covina, CA 1963

This poem was written by my girlfriend El and myself, one afternoon over hot tea and chocolate chip cookies after a walk in the rain...I was fascinated with sharks at the time, reading everything I could get my hands on, so it was often a topic of my conversations... We began the poem walking in the rain, alternating lines back and forth...then rushing to her house to write it all down... We need to collaborate more my friend...and I miss our walks and talks.

Magpie #100: Procrastination...

2012-01-19T22:10:00.000-08:00

Jason deCaires Taylor's La Evolution Silenciosa

(The Silent Evolution) one of 400 life sized figures

depth 9m Isles Mujeres, Mexico

photo presented by Tess Kincaid

challenge and hosted by Magpie Tales

eyes closed in self denial

mouth open with unconscious thought

head beneath the surface

avoidance of action

turned to stone

sunk to the depths

of procrastination...

misery loves company

only you

can save yourself.

~dkb~

A Moment of Ego Brings Death and Disaster...

2012-01-18T13:49:00.000-08:00

I just cannot stop thinking of the families of the 11 dead and the 25 still missing passengers and crew unaccounted for from the recent Cruise ship disaster Friday, January 13, 2012. Apparently, the Captain Francesco Schettino, decided to do the equivalent of a navigational "fly by" without permission. I've read he did it for a head waiter on the ship who was from Giglio, the Tuscan island where the ship hit a reef 150 meters (480 feet) from shore.

How can a Captain of a cruise ship carrying 4200 lives, even consider a moment of ego risking all those lives he is sworn to protect? We are asked to trust Pilots of planes, Captains of ships, Bus drivers who transport our children on school buses, Conductors on trains, Firemen, and Police Officers. This man was released today on house arrest! I cannot believe it!!!! He should be kept in jail. He may have saved thousands by steering the ship closer to shore, but he is solely responsible for the deaths of 11 people.

Captain Francesco Schettino

of the ship Costa Concordia

Timeline and maneuvers of the Captain

At 9:35pm, two and a half hours after leaving port to begin the cruise, the Captain turned off the alarm, which automatically sounds when the ship goes off his programmed course, by manually steering it without permission to move the ship closer to shore. Once he realized he had damaged the ship, he maneuvered the ship to get closer to shore, but why he did not order the life boards to be lowered immediately, is definitely a question to be answered. Many of those missing may have been saved...

View of the ship listing after hitting the reef

I cannot believe how close the ship is to shore! Can you imagine seeing this sight from shore or a passenger seeing it from the ship? I would panicked beyond all reason if I knew I had to jump into the water at night!

Part of the reef embedded in the ship's hull, tearing an 160 ft gash, flooding the ship. That hole is the size of over two lengths of a professional tennis court (78' long)...

Rescuers boarding the capsized ship to search for survivors

Aerial view of the capsized ship

One of my biggest fears is to drown. Being out in deep water terrifies me. I cannot imagine the horror and panic those passengers felt, not to mention the families of those missing passengers and crew! I read this morning, a Hungarian mother flew into Italy to identify her 38 year old son who was a musician on board the ship. Another young German woman notified authorities she was back home in Germany. She must have got herself to shore and found her way ASAP back to Germany.

11 Germans, 6 Italians, 4 French, 2 Americans, 1 Indian and 1 Peruvian are still missing.

Supposedly, the divers have searched the entire ship, but further searching has been suspended due to the ship moving slightly and an impending storm due Thursday. The owners have still not decided who will first remove the 500,000 gallons of fuel still on board the ship, or who will patch and re-float the ship or cut it up and salvage the pieces hauled off on barges. The ship is 950 feet long and 115 feet wide with 45,000 tons of steel. One of the salvage companies being considered is the Dutch salvage company, SMIT, which has handled many maritime disasters successfully.

I've read the waters off Giglio are pristine which are also a sanitary for various fish, dolphins, porpoises and whales. Hopefully, whichever salvage company is selected, it can safely remove all that oil. I pray the storm due tomorrow will not add to this tragedy and contaminate the clear, blue waters.

I keep thinking maybe some of the missing are trapped underneath the submerged side of the ship. I read how passengers had to swim as fast as they could because they feared the ship would fall on them. My heart aches for those poor souls who had just begun, what was to be this fantastic cruise, only to have it end in disaster before their first night on board! Many described it to be similar to the movie Titanic.

My husband talked me into a Mexican Riviera Cruise back in 2006. It was my first cruise ever. We chose to sail on Norwegian Cruise Lines. We had a suite on the mid top of the ship. We were treated like royalty, the food and accommodations were excellent. I did enjoy it, more so after we docked safely and disembarked the ship. I always felt "on guard" and could not really relax... I had to take Xanax to relieve my anxiety. The first night out I really had to talk to myself to calm myself down...

I dislike flying over water as well. People tell me there are fewer accidents with planes and ships and I am more at risk driving in my car. Maybe so, but your odds of surviving a car accident are certainly higher than on an airplane or cruise ship!

Yesterday, I watched a program on the History channel about the 5 deadliest creatures no one wants to tangle with in the ocean. Prior to seeing this program, my main fear were sharks...This Mediterranean cruise is the exact cruise my husband wants us to take next year with his cousins.... I had reservations before I saw this, now, it justifies why I prefer not to cruise...Maybe the odds are slight, but if the odds are not in my favor, I do not want to be on a ship or a plane when it happens.

My prayers go out to all the families and friends of the still missing passengers and crew. I pray for a miracle they will be found safe.

Photo of the global satellite view of the Costa Concordia released today

Survived My First Zumba Class...

2012-01-17T18:40:00.000-08:00

OK, I survived my first Zumba class...but I can tell I am going to be sore...I already am...

We did a warm up, which made me heat up...then it was a little bit of Salsa, a little bit of Tango, a little bit of Box Step, a little bit of Hip Hop moves, a little bit of free style, a little bit of Bali....and then a lot of repeat.

We took a break every ten minutes or so for a drink of water...and I was gulping the water. Next time I gotta remember a towel!

I was the newest of the class, and there were two other ladies who just started last week. We three stood in the back as not to get in any one's way and trip them...

I hated looking in the wall to wall mirror in front of us...my "flying squirrel wings" beneath my upper arms, my smiling belly button peeking out beneath my shirt when we lifted our arms up, my extra chins bouncing and shaking...my rosy cheeks...that was the hardest part...looking at what I have done to myself over the past several years...

I used to country line dance, but this is totally different...and good thing it has been so long because the instructor, Linda told us we would end up moving wrong.

She told us to make sure and keep our core and upper body straight, knees bent and so when we tap our feet, it will not be hard on our feet, ankles and knees. No bouncing steps allowed.

I loved the Salsa (even if I looked very uncoordinated), the Tango and the Bali dancing the best...

Just as I would start to feel like I "got" the move and steps, she would change it up again and go to a different genre.

I don't mind looking like I don't know what I am doing, because I don't! But I kept thinking to myself, if I keep this up, I will be really good and I will LOOK GOOD!

At the beginning of the class, Linda glanced at the windows (we were in a room off the gym) she commented, "We should sell tickets to those guys".... I deliberately DID NOT LOOK TO SEE WHO WAS WATCHING US!

We were making some pretty provocative moves, and wiggling our stuff, so I can see where the men would take the opportunity to gawk...

I could tell the women who have been coming awhile...they are very trim and slim and knew the steps...
One thing I did really well was shaking my booty and shoulders....I got a lot to shake!

I had fun...but I was pooped. I came home, changed my work out clothes to my sweats, ate some lunch and passed out in my chair watching The Five Most Deadliest Creatures Under the Sea No Human Being Would Ever Want To Tangle With... (1. The Box Jellyfish, 2. Salt Water Alligator, 3. Great White Shark, 4. Humboldt Squid, and 5. The Killer Whale.) I slept for two hours.

Our community magazine said Zumba was twice a week...but after class, I found out the Thursday class was taught by someone else and it was canceled this week. I am kind of glad Zumba is once a week...it will give me the opportunity to get adjusted to it and not too sore. The other two new gals, invited me to the free Aerobics class Tuesday nights from 6pm to 7pm. I thanked them, but told them I was going to resist my normal method of "jumping in with two feet with too much gusto" and then burn myself out.

The Zumba class is $2.50 a class. I can buy a card for $20 which will save me a couple of classes...but I wanted to try it out first...

I am really out of shape, so this is the beginning...but I LOVE DANCING, so I think I am going to like this class...

Wish Me Luck...

2012-01-17T11:47:00.001-08:00

Today is my first Zumba class...wish me luck...

An Evening of Enlightenment...

2012-01-14T23:58:00.000-08:00

Tonight my husband and I went to an informal gathering of writers, hosted by my friend and fellow blogger, Linda and her husband, Mike. You can check out their blogs by clicking on the link of their names...

Linda and most of the guests attend the Henderson Writer's Group. Linda invited me and I went with her a couple of times. Linda is a mover and a shaker, a talented writer, humorist, stand up comedian and soon to be Life coach... She has been busy finishing up her job so she can quit and move on to her next venture, traveling and getting married during the holidays, so she has not attended lately either. She and Mike felt it would be a great way for everyone to reconnect and see what everyone has been up to...

It was fun seeing some familiar faces and meeting new ones. I was so intrigued and impressed listening to all their accomplishments and projects as we went around the room introducing ourselves...

I met Linda and another blogger/friend, Lisa, who was one of the first bloggers I met when I started my first blog, Mystical Journeys. Linda, Lisa and I used to meet for lunches and talk... which were always serendipitous and inspirational for me. When my husband and I were punching in the code at the front gate, Lisa drove up behind us... The last time we were all together was April of last year at the Las Vegas Writer's Conference. It was so good to get together with them again...

I am so glad I followed through and went... Lately, it seems I make excuses too easily...which is why I am still finishing up projects from 2011, dragging them into 2012. I think my retirement has spawned a Scarlet O'Hara-type-attitude..."I'll worry about that tomorrow..."

NO WONDER I FEEL SO UNHAPPY!!!!!

After getting home, sitting, reflecting at my laptop, I am left with two important impressions:

#1 Without really realizing it, I have made some excellent contacts and leads here in Henderson, Nevada, which could quite possibly help me advance toward pursuits in writing...

#2 I can achieve my goals and dreams if I just DO IT and NEVER GIVE UP.

Two of my greatest hindrances are my tendency to allow myself to be easily distracted and over analyzing why I allow myself to be distracted.

I = Identify what I need, want, or plan to do.

D= Decide to follow it through to completion, no matter what...

E= Express my desire to stay on task with no excuses.

A= Action, Action, ACTION!

What an enlightening IDEA...

Time and Space...

2012-01-10T21:51:00.000-08:00

"Life itself can't give you joy,

Unless you really will it.

Life just gives you time and space...

It's up to you to fill it."

Anonymous.

Magpie 98: Reflective Meditation...

2012-01-07T20:57:00.000-08:00

River, Marina Moevs, 2005

Creative challenge by http://magpietales.blogspot.com/

Hosted by Tess Kincaid http://www.willowmanor.blogspot.com/

sitting cross-legged

on over cropping of rocks

transfixed

looking deep

into the reflection

meditating

this new year...

~dkb~

Happy New Year...Farewell 2011....

2011-12-31T11:52:00.000-08:00

from google images

Happy New Year everyone

a new year, 2012

new beginnings

a fresh start

opportunities to seize

habits to break

new projects

begin exercising

keep that diet...

definitely

a night of good intentions.

I wish all of you

health, happiness,

safe travels

and good times

with family and friends.

~dkb~

Powerful....

2011-12-22T23:13:00.000-08:00

7 minute video

Woody Woodward was a 16 year old high school drop out who became a millionaire by age 26. He made a movie entitled Iology (www.iologymovie.com) about the Laws of Importance and one's emotional fingerprint.

This video is from his movie. It is of Mary Louise Zeller ( fenix) who watched her child fall from a two story window. The trauma of this incident lead her to answer an ad for Taekwondo, a form of full contact martial arts. At age 44, out of shape and depressed, her desire to go from the traumatic to the dramatic transformed her life.

Listen to her story, it is very powerful.

To The Moon and Back...

2011-12-04T21:54:00.000-08:00

Image from Pinterest

Answering a question as to why he cheated on his wife...

"We evaporated.

We used to always be

in a good mood...

All the time

we were laughing, joking,

wisting and making up songs.

Then we started to impersonate

ourselves being in a good mood...

Eventually,

we started impersonating ourselves.

We stopped describing

our future to one another...

What we had just evaporated...

I saw my assistant

and just felt a connection...

I went with it...

I told myself I wanted

what every one else had...

but what I really did

was give up

on a love

everyone else wanted."

Ray Liotta

The Comeback Season

I always tell my husband I love him to the moon and back...

and that I am in love for the last time in my life.

He tells me he is in love for the first time in his life...

Last night we watched the movie I quoted above, and this particular dialogue from the movie made me think about the commitment and effort it takes to keep a marriage from evaporating...

My husband and I just celebrated our tenth wedding anniversary...

it zipped by, and we could not believe how fast the time went...

It made me grateful for what we have together in our relationship.

A big difference from my first marriage which ended after ten years and felt like it had been fifty.

I always felt like my first husband spoke only Russian and I spoke English...we could not communicate.

I always thought if I was open, honest and willing to discuss anything, we would have wonderful communication in our marriage, but I quickly learned, the one least capable of exposing one's feelings and thoughts, sets the tone of a couple's intimacy and communication.

I've lived long enough to realize no one is perfect. No matter how long we know someone prior to marriage or committing to live together, dynamics change and often it is not exactly how we thought it would be... but the stronger relationships, keep at it, adapt and work toward the bigger picture of becoming an "us". We are all unique and have our ups and downs. The easier one can accept the differences between spouses, the better a couple gets along. If one wants things 100% one's own way, all the time, then one should stay single.

My husband and I have different interests, preferences, moods and needs, but we have enough in common to alleviate any serious problems. We both love to laugh and joke, which help us navigate through almost any situation. Even when one of us is upset with the other, 90% of the time, it ends up with both of us laughing.

We never go through a day without telling or showing our love for one another and like I said, laughing. We each compliment one another's strengths and weaknesses. My husband is very neat and tidy, which means I don't have to pick up after him. Something I had to do constantly with my first husband, and I resented it immensely.

Our home here is very peaceful and relaxing. It is our refuge. Our guests always comment on how well they sleep, how cozy and comfortable they feel when they come for a stay. I always get a huge smile and feel warm and fuzzy inside when family and friends tell us this...

To be fair, I only knew my first husband four months before we eloped. Nine months later, I was pregnant with my first daughter and then 9 months later, pregnant with my second. My daughters were 18 months apart and kept me very busy. In some ways, it was like having twins. My first husband needed anger management classes, to say the least. He had a very short fuse. It was like living with a rattlesnake, I never knew when he would coil and strike with venomous words...

He wore a mask of calm and humor for the short time before we married; then shed it like a snake discards his skin quickly after, telling me it was all my fault. Honestly, I married him because I wanted children. My biological clock was banging so loudly, I dismissed all logic and reason because we both wanted marriage and children. He wanted to be a good husband, provider and Father, but we had never taken the time to discuss what each of those things meant to each of us in any detail....only generalities and wishful thinking...

The reality of our differences soon became evident, but by then, we had two small daughters. I worked nights and he worked days, so that helped prolong the marriage... but the distance between us were as deep and wide as the Grand Canyon...

Despite attempts at counseling, I realized I could no longer justify his behavior and allow my daughters to think it was OK for a man to treat a woman the way he was treating the girls and I. I don't regret the marriage, for what it taught me, but more importantly, for giving me my two precious daughters.

I learned a lot raising my girls on my own. I needed to know how strong and capable I was.

When they were both grown and on their own, I met the man who is now my husband and the love of my life. I had a home of my own and a good job. All my friends and I felt I finally had arrived into the light at the end of the tunnel...

My husband was divorced but still going through a nasty property settlement with a very angry, unhappy, ex-wife. He was in debt and had two children under 18, with the older one repeatedly running away... He had two other ex-wives and four grown sons with four grand children. I needed a score card to keep everyone straight. He jokes with me and asks, "Now what number wife are you?" and I always answer, "I am number 4-EVER!"

He had been through the mill during his twenty year marriage with his last wife. She had kicked him out after meeting her new boyfriend, who she moved in to live with her and the two younger kids. I won't go into details, but suffice it to say, it was like he had been through a war and had been emotionally traumatized.

I could see he had a good heart and was a kind, generous, family man. I really liked him and loved his laugh. We both needed and wanted a friend. I had disconnected myself from a fifteen year on again, off again relationship with my former boyfriend. So we both were understandably reluctant to get into another relationship. We were both looking for some fun companionship.

I had always pontificated the pearls of wisdom in starting a relationship with friendship rather than sexual attraction, but in my past, was too hung up on the attraction to follow through with my philosophy...maybe older and wiser, I was willing to pursue the friendship aspect.

We took it slow...so slow, we only hugged and barely kissed. Both of us were extremely wary of reverting back to our prior mistakes... six months after we met, we both knew we wanted to be exclusive and become a serious couple. We had taken the time to get to know one another and loved what we learned. A year later he proposed and we married one month after 911.

The day of our wedding, I never felt so calm and so sure of anything in my life...

Our biggest challenge has been our move here to Henderson, Nevada. We came here for a better job opportunity for him in 2005. Meanwhile, my oldest daughter had my first grand son and was pregnant with the second. Obviously, I did not want to leave them. Financially, we needed to make this move. He promised if I did not like it, we could move back... who knew the economy and and housing market would take a deep dive into a financial abyss....

I am happy within my marital relationship, yet I long to find contentment and happiness living where we live now...

Life happens, unfolding the cards it deals to each of us. Our Pastor told me my place was with my husband, so we moved. Fourteen months ago, my younger daughter delivered my third grand son. I know I still feel guilt in not being more available for both my daughters, helping with my grand sons... it haunts me. Some times I attempt to take it out on my husband, who always tells me despite the financial loss we would suffer, if I really wanted to move back, we could...but we would both have to take jobs which would give us less time to spend with the kids.

One of the reasons I have not been blogging, is because I get tired of writing about this all the time. I have convinced myself, because I no longer live close to my daughters and grand sons, I will not be happy and no longer have a purpose in life. This attitude of mine is a burden. It is not how I normally operate. I have always done the best I could with what I had to deal with... until now...

I know I need to commit myself to making the best of it, rather than busying myself and feeling like I am faking it. Faking it is no way to live.

It seems everything I read, talks of warning the elderly from becoming isolated... and feeling isolated is exactly how I feel...

It would be easier for my emotional state to pack up and move back to California...but my husband and I are partners. Being partners, we each look out for one another. He is 72 and I am 64...definitely no longer spring chickens. We have to be more mindful of our financial situation. We do not want to end up being a financial burden to our children... My husband retired a year ago last October after working in banking for over 50 years. He has some health issues, so working again, may put additional pressure and stress back on him... I have a bad back which seems to get worse the older I get...besides, he deserves to be retired. He has worked hard, raised six children and financially supported each one generously.

If we had not moved here, we would not be in any financial situation to retire. In California, he had difficulty finding work which did not require a two hour commute time both ways. We both worked full time with only the weekends to relax, making it also, the only time to see family.

I sound like I am justifying. Another reason I hate writing about this subject. Examining these feelings is painful and disturbing. All my life I dreamed of having time to write and paint. The blogging spiked my quest for realizing some of my creative endeavors and I did take some painting classes while my husband was working...Admitting I may be the problem for my unhappiness makes me want to pull the covers of denial tightly over my head...

Now I feel I have come to a dead end. I make excuses for not being creative due to my loneliness for my family and the collection of stuff I cling to for sentimental reasons and from my attempts to busy myself faking my purpose...

I have stopped going to church. I stopped my search to find some meaningful volunteer work after my disillusionment with Hospice training. (I was being used more for my clerical talents than for the one on one patient care I had trained for.) I don't pursue activities which would give us more opportunities to meet other couples or friends for each of us. More and more I stay inside, rather than going outside, doing things I enjoy doing. If it wasn't for my dog Izzy, I would rarely see the light of day... I spend too much time dwelling on feeling sorry for myself...

I could be pouring my pent up feelings into abstract art and writing my poetry more often...instead I have allowed it all to bottle up and dam itself, clogging my life like a storm drain.

My goal is to get it all out...expose myself for the weak, procrastinating, quitter I am... in hopes my inner strength and courage will rise, take hold and propel me in some positive, self healing, productive direction so I can relieve myself from all the guilt and unhappiness I feel.

Just like any good relationship, it is working through the good, the bad and the ugly. We are all selfish, but it means putting myself in my partner's position and seeing things from his perspective and visa versa. It is realizing I have raised my daughters and now they continue in the circle of life, raising their families. It is my time... and why, do I feel so selfish in saying that?

Part of my problem is the fact I always saw my life purpose as being a successful full time Mother and Grandmother. I only dreamed of pursuing my creative endeavors...

Am I fooling myself?

Are those dreams really important to me?

By not trying to fulfill all my life's dreams, am I not living fully?

Am I afraid of failing at my creative dreams?

Am I making excuses to keep from moving forward?

Is it safer to cling to the more familiar pursuit of being a good mother?

Why do I feel so guilty?

Why do I feel I have abandoned my family?

Is that why I feel so isolated?

If we did move back, where would we live? Other than our loved ones and the beach, there is no real attraction to California...

Why do I hesitate in giving myself permission to be happy?

Is being closer to family the only way I can feel happy?

Am I selling myself short?

Have I really tried to make the best of it here?

Do I need some counseling?

Does any of this make any sense?

We have lived here six years the end of this coming January... I should think my "empty nest syndrome" should have worked itself out by now...if, that is what it is...

I shared my thoughts with a very dear blogging friend and she told me it took her ten years... At least I live close enough to drive to see them and it only takes up to 4 hours...( here I go justifying again...)

I feel I have written myself into a corner...a feeling I have been having a lot lately...hence, the reason for my blogging break...I am not sure where this post is suppose to go from here. Often, this is where I click on view blog instead of publish post and keep my feelings in draft for myself. Keeping my feelings to myself will not help me get to where I want to go...which is, to the moon and back...

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone....

2011-11-23T23:08:00.000-08:00

We Are The Choices We Make...

2011-11-18T04:42:00.000-08:00

"We are the choices we make...

No one understands

when a woman

makes the choice

to marry and

have children,

in a way,

her love begins

and one way, it stops...

You build a life

of details

and you just STOP

and STAY STEADY

so that your children can move...

and when they leave,

they take your life and details with them...

You are expected

to move on again,

but you don't remember

what it was that moved you

because no one

has asked you in so long...

not even yourself...

You never think

love like this

is going to happen to you...

and you want to keep it forever."

Meryl Streep,

The Bridges of Madison County

Rain...

2011-11-04T17:34:00.000-07:00

It's raining...I am cozy inside our home, Izzy is asleep on the back of the couch. My husband, his friend and his oldest son are out doing what guys enjoy doing... I was invited, but declined. I am satisfied to visit some blogs and listen to the rain through my open front door.

Wishing you all a wonderful weekend...

Checking in with updates...

2011-11-03T17:22:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone!

I can't believe how fast the time has flown by since I last wrote... we have been busy doing things around the house, traveling and having lots of company. Some of our home changes were because we wanted to and some because we had to...like blown CFI circuits. We also need to do some exterior painting of the house. We are in the process of finding out the the colors we need from our community center, then get on the hunt for a reasonable and reliable house painter...

We were debating on putting in wooden floors, but decided instead to clean the carpets, tile, grout and then reseal the grout. We took some of our old furniture and sent it to the consignment shop. They pick up for $35 but take that amount out of the first sale. We split the price of the furniture and they send us a check at month's end.

We found a nice round table with three legs at the consignment store which will become an end table in the corner between the couch and the new entertainment center. Since my husband relented and agreed to get rid of the TV console we bought three or four years ago, and purchase the entertainment center I wanted all along, we agreed he could pick out the new coffee table and end table. He has scratched up both his legs below the knee from walking into the corners of the old coffee table...so he wanted an oval one with smooth edges. He also bought two bar stools and we both helped in putting them together...

New entertainment center (hubby watching Apocalypto) with round end table in the corner... we needed an entertainment center no wider than six feet and no taller than six feet and this one filled the bill nicely.

Oval coffee table with smooth edges... (memory jar we started, writing down all our happy, fun and grateful memories)

End table beside my rose recliner...

Our "do it yourselves" bar stools...

We took a trip to Tucson, Arizona to visit our good friends. We had so much fun. While sight seeing our "old haunts" and my old apartment complex, we were caught in a typical rain/thunder and lightning storm. I even caught a pic of some lightning... We saw the memorial for police killed in the line of duty, which started with my former fiance who was killed October 28, 1974. Four other officers were killed since his death, the last one in 2008. I had not been back to Tucson since 1975, when I moved back to California...

My husband's cousin and his wife came to stay with us for a week from their home in New York. We took them up and down the Strip, to Lake Las Vegas, and to some restaurants they had never heard of. The wife wanted to zip line above Fremont Street, which is a new, very popular activity for downtown. We also took a bus to the west end of the Grand Canyon in Arizona and walked on the Skywalker at Eagle Point. The glass u shaped structure extends from the edge of the canyon 70 feet and rises 4000 feet above the floor of the Grand Canyon. It was spectacular! It was also my first time seeing the Grand Canyon...

Sitting on the see through walk way of the Skywalker above the west side of the Grand Canyon...called, Eagle Point (see it in new header photo).

Last week I was in California visiting my family. We celebrated the 7 year olds birthday, my Dad's 91st, Trick or Treated with the grand kids and my sister and I took Mom to lunch. This weekend we are spending Saturday night at the MGM to see the Eagles in concert. It is our tenth wedding anniversary gift. There will be fourteen of us. I fully expect to be hoarse from singing the next morning...

Now that the weather is cooling off, it will be easier to go through all the rest of the stuff in the garage to donate or sell. We are really on a roll. I have room in the garage to exercise with my hula hoop and jump rope. My husband and I have decided to go up to the gym and work out together. I am taking daily walks with Izzy, and so far, no coyotes...

That is all for now...we are busy beavers these days and it feels good to be so productive. I have found it is a real challenge to keep up with both creative pursuits, house work and staying in touch with family and friends. The more I eliminate the easier the upkeep giving me more time blogging and painting...

I look forward to getting back in the groove and visiting my blogging friends, seeing what you all have been up to....

A Tribute To Steve Jobs....

2011-10-05T19:05:00.000-07:00

I really like this quote... RIP Steve Jobs and thank you so much for investing your life so productively and following your dreams. You made this world a better place.

A Drop in the Toilet...

2011-09-29T18:30:00.000-07:00

We have been in Tucson, Arizona since Monday. Just before leaving our home, I dropped my new smart phone in the toilet. I had it in my back pocket... I will NEVER make that mistake again...

So I delayed us leaving because I took the phone apart and dried as much as I could with my hair dryer on cool...then I packed it in a bag of rice (to soak up the moisture) and took it in the car with us. I held it on my lap so the sun would bake it...

Called Verizon...because I have insurance, only to discover my co-pay to replace my phone will be $99!!! I thought it would be $50 max. I am so canceling my ins...what a rip. When I got the cell phone it was less than $99.

I was able to dry out the phone so I can call, get calls, text and get texts...but I don't think my navigation is working or the short cut bar on the home page of my cell phone screen...I will need a new one...

Been going around all week without a cell phone...and I have to say, I have kind of enjoyed it.

We have one more day with our friends, then we leave early Saturday morning for Thousand Oaks, CA. We should be back home on Monday.

We have been having THE BEST TIME with our friends... my girlfriend and I have been friends for 43 years. We've met some of their friends and have just been having the most fun!

More later...hugs to all of you...

A Demonstration of the Power of a Mother's Love...

2011-09-25T23:16:00.000-07:00

There is no explanation necessary...you will not be sorry you watched this video...it may even change your life...

Random Acts of Kindness...

2011-09-23T21:07:00.000-07:00

Two days ago, we learned my husband's ex-wife died. Her funeral will be Sunday, October 2nd in Thousand Oaks, CA. She was a wonderful, loving and giving woman. She and I became friends and I cannot believe at 68, she is gone...

We leave Monday for Tucson to visit good friends of ours. We have really been looking forward to this trip. We will spend five days with our friends, then leave the 1st of October, and drive from Tucson, Arizona to Thousand Oaks. We will stay with one of my husband's best friends, who live there, and attend the funeral on Sunday. We should be home on Monday...

In her honor, I intend to do random acts of kindness for 68 days. She was a daughter, a sister, a mother, a step mother to three little boys, a grand mother, a friend to many, a caregiver, a registered nurse and always, always, always, thought of others first. She was a gifted woman with many talents in flower arranging, sewing, decorating, gardening, crafts, cooking and making a house into a beautiful home. She loved to shop at Coldwater Creek, taking pride in her appearance. She looked so stylish each time I saw her.

Her family was her pride and joy. When we were together, her face would light up as we shared stories of our mutual grand children. She loved to laugh, looking for the humor in everything...She enjoyed making special gifts for the grand kids and always remembered each of their birthdays. She loved animals and the elderly. She volunteered her time to help the elderly who were unable to pay for the excellent care she gave so generously.

She was a survivor and a warrior. She fought hard times and huge emotional challenges. I have tremendous admiration and respect for her...

Rest in peace dear friend...you were loved and you will be remembered.

Magpie #82: Be Gone

2011-09-15T19:06:00.000-07:00

The Revenant 1949 by Andrew Wyeth

Photo suggested by Tess Kincaid

Challenge and hostessed by Magpie Tales

He still comes to me

in my dreams

beckoning me

with his ruffled collar

knowing I would

always

smooth it down...

I don't know where he is

I stopped taking his calls

years ago...

I had to stop
the madness...

Yet he still finds me...

haunts me...

with his intensity...
"Come on baby...
I need you to calm me down..."

I needed to laugh

to dance

to explore...

He always wore white

but his thoughts

were the deepest black...

I can't help you anymore...

be gone!

~dkb~

The Marine Has Landed...

2011-09-11T13:24:00.000-07:00

I will taking a break for a couple of weeks. My step-son joined the Marines and flew in today for a five day visit. He was told to "be ready" any time between October and January to leave for boot camp. The first two weeks, he is not allowed any contact with the outside world. After the two weeks, he can receive letters.

We don't know if he will be here for Christmas so we want to enjoy our time with him before he leaves. He will celebrate his 21st birthday this April. If he has leave, he said he would want to come back to celebrate with us.

What a difference already. He no longer eats "junk food" or carbs, soda, or chips. The Marines require him to do PT twice a week and test once a month. He works out six times per week "for his own preservation". His spiky, stylish hair is all shaved to a "1". He still looks so handsome...

The end of the week, we will all travel together to California to celebrate Jacob's first birthday. Jacob has four teeth on the top and four on the bottom now, cutting some other ones. Still has peach fuzz on his head, but he walking! Where the heck did this past year go???

Six Word Saturday...

2011-09-10T18:13:00.000-07:00

Six Word Saturday

from Pinterest

Never Be Afraid...

2011-09-08T22:10:00.000-07:00

quote found on Pinterest

Remembering Precious Times...

2011-09-06T15:22:00.000-07:00

painted by artist Joyce Sloan

This watercolor hangs in my guest bedroom. I bought it years ago because the two girls looked so much like my two daughters, Holly and Jodee. Often, I look at it going back in time when the girls were young and I was filled with purpose. An abundance of determination to help them become all they wanted to be...

It was financially challenging being a single mom but I loved every minute raising my precious girls...

It's all I ever wanted to be was a good mother...

Now, I am blessed to be a grandmother... Holly has two sons and Jodee's son will be soon be one year old this month. Both are devoted, loving moms...

Knowing my daughters are living this parental adventure with their spouses raising up their sons together

helping them become all they can be gives me a happy heart.

Enlightenment...

2011-09-04T15:51:00.000-07:00

Love the opportunity to learn...

embrace your mistakes.

~dkb~

Pinterest and Me....

2011-09-02T09:26:00.000-07:00

As some of you may have noticed, I have not been blogging as regularly as I was... I would like to tell you I have been keeping my nose in the gym, doing the treadmill every day, learning to swim, and losing weight... alas, that is not what I have to report. I have been working around the house, the yard, throwing out my back, you know, my normal routine... However....

I have discovered the world of Pinterest. Many of you already know about it. Typical of me...once I discover something I like, I throw myself into it totally. If you look on my side bar, you will see a pic of "Pinterest takes me to my happy place". You can click on it and see what I have been doing on Pinterest.

My original interest, was to find some cute quotes to use on my blog. Not only did I find quotes, but such cute, original ones, I went a little bonkers.... At first I could not figure out how to pin and re-pin etc, so I saved images, quotes to my computer picture files. After a short while, I was getting quite a collection...so I began to google and read how to use Pinterest, where I could use Pinterest to save my images and quotes (pinning them to my Pinterest boards) instead of taking up space on my computer. Much better.

It's all my sister Holly's fault. She is the one who kept sending me all the cute stuff she found on Pinterest. I had never heard of it before... I went on Pinterest strictly as something to share with my dear sister... and the rest is history.

Needless to say, it has taken up all my free time. I have to admit, it has motivated me to cook some new recipes, do a couple creative projects (I will post them later) and get me out searching for recycled items I have seen on Pinterest to make... so it has been a creative avenue...just one which has taken me off course with my blogging....

Eventually, what I learn and make on Pinterest I will share with all of you... until then, if you do go check out Pinterest... "Happy pinning!" Everyone please have a fun, safe, Labor Day weekend!

Magpie #79: Day at the Beach...

2011-08-26T16:26:00.000-07:00

Undated photo, found in a Missouri antique shop

Photo presented by Tess Kincaid

Hostessed and challenge by Magpie Tales

sardines are we,

six siblings

one by one

giggling, packing ourselves

into the family car...

mom counting so

none are left behind

dad revving us up

with enthusiasm

for a day

at the beach

keeping the windows down

was our air conditioning

the hour ride seemed

longer as the heat

of the day fills in

any extra space

fighting, boredom, frustration

was solved as

dad drove slowly

up and down

the street in front

of the ocean

searching for a parking spot

united,

we begged

and pleaded

for any spot...

"just let us out"

"drop us off"

"pleeeeaaaase dad...."

satisfied we were ready

and grateful

he parked as we

peeled our bare legs

off seats

extricating ourselves

and ran gleefully,

deliriously

onto the warm sand

for a memorable day

of family fun...

~dkb~

Tree Swing...

2011-08-20T10:27:00.000-07:00

Photo from Google.com

pic posted by Nell Hartz on Pinterest

Who can resist

a tree swing?

A simple time machine

back to one's youth...

~dkb~

Please Stand By...

2011-08-18T16:03:00.000-07:00

Magpie #78: Her Life...

2011-08-15T13:43:00.000-07:00

Photo prompt by Tess Kincaid

Hostesses and challenge by Magpie Tales

like old used

brushes and rollers

in a closet,

her life

lies waiting

without purpose

unpainted

a project started

and pushed aside

lacking motivation

to make it all it could be...

her awareness numbed

to what needs to be painted,

longing for brighter colors,

better days,

her mind drifts back

when her life had

purpose

direction

aspirations...

tears roll down

her cheeks

with bittersweet memories

of raising her children

and working...

having worked most

of her life

"it felt right"

occasionally complaining

like everyone else,

yet,

it always

shot her out of bed each morning

recharged

keeping her organized

and happy...

was her marriage

after

the kids moved out,

a mistake?

her doubts began

when he wanted to retire

away from her children...

now retired

they both regret their move

he, knowing her unhappiness

she, feeling stuck...

growing older

less physically capable

further away to ask for help

less income

intermittent depression

less options

gas prices soaring

buyer's market

fragile economy

government turmoil

investments dropping

bleak future

living far from her family

listening through the phone

to the lives

of her children raising their families...

life goes on

like a raging river

swim or drown...

her attempts

fall short

of her expectations

in how her life plan

was visualized...

some times

getting older

feels like

waiting to die...

her spirit needs inspiration

her mind needs goals

her heart needs interaction

her soul needs a purpose...

her hope

like her eye sight

is dwindling...

thinking of the difference

between those with an action plan

and those without

should be as easy

as "just doing it"

until her attempts to try...

procrastination

is a rusty, tangled wire

wrapping her tighter

the more her denial

of her reality

overwhelms her...

she'd drink

if it were her inclination...

instead,

her naps

are her escape hatch

as her hand

slams the closet door shut

pushing it

from her mind,

"There will be no painting today."

~dkb~

Magpie #77: She Wanted More...

2011-08-14T08:28:00.000-07:00

Edward Hopper, 1947, Summer Evening

Photograph presented by Tess Kincaid

Hostessed challenge by Magpie Tales

it always was sexual

between them...

it was the magnet

which drew them together...

at first,

she reveled in the headiness

of their chemistry,

feeling the power

in his attraction...

knowing his eyes

were always

upon her body,

wanting her...

every woman

needs to feel

this abandon

at least once...

there was a wantonness

of womanly strength

weaved deceptively

within the web

of his desire,

fulfilling his fantasia...

the magic

between them...

instinctively

ringing each others bells.

its good.

very good.

but she wanted more...

not a ring...

not commitment...

she knew

she was more
than this sexy woman
he craved,
sadly,
he didn't see...

the person

within

the woman

needed to explore...

needed to be free....

she knew

he would

hold her back

~dkb~

Coyote Walk...

2011-08-13T11:26:00.000-07:00

7:45am

ominous clouds over northern mountains

overcast

slight breeze

good walking weather...

eery silence

distant airplane

alternating gait thump

from my walking stick

jingling of Izzy's tags...

peeping of quails

hedge trimmer humming

one street over

clear blue skies boasting

white fleeting clouds

over southern mountains...

complete stillness

breeding strange instincts

as I connect

to the environment...

this Saturday morning

we walk alone...

hark! a neighbor

and his Burmese,

dog friendly, cat, Rocky...

the cat greets us

with anticipatory joy

scampering across the street

talking, asking

for attention

Izzy balks, confused,

barks

stands beside me

rigid

with downward tail...

I stroke Rocky's belly

converse and enjoy

his loud purr...

I inquire

on coyote sightings...

"none in years"

my neighbor responds...

I share the coyote kill

of almost two months ago

informing also

of the mountain lion kill

three weeks ago...

just then,

a coyote, with

beautiful large pointed ears

bushy tail

lean body

with camouflage colors

trots in

from the back of my neighbor's yard...

I warn my neighbor

as he scoops up Rocky...

the coyote

sniffs the air

smelling the scent

of Izzy and Rocky

focusing on us

standing its ground

I take my dog whisperer

powerful stance

one arm on my hip

one arm stretched out

gripping my walking stick...

intense

maternal instincts

surge through me,

strengthening me

as I ready for battle...

still,

the coyote stands firm

then moves

closer...

my neighbor remarks

"its not scared is it?"

nope.

flipping my walking stick

I tap noisily on the street...

nothing.

instinctively, we rush forward

stomping our feet

moving toward it...

the coyote

nimbly lopes across the yard

into the back yard

of his next door neighbor

and we watch

as he jumps down

off a block wall

into a back yard neighbors yard

Another neighbor

comes outside

telling us he just saw

a coyote in his back yard...

we talk

concerned

yet realizing

the reality

living within

and among wild life...

they were, here first...

I call my husband

wanting him to

regret not walking with us,

instead

he tells me he

is driving to pick me up...

Izzy and I continue up

the street

a female neighbor comes outside

telling me a coyote

was lying in wait

for her neighbor's three cats

it has happened before

the coyote knows

the cats are there...

I ask my husband

to drive along

while we walk

as another neighbor

walks up with his dog

after telling him

he concludes it is the

same coyote who

killed our neighbor's Yorkie

he said it was a female coyote...

I regret

not taking a picture

of the coyote

with my cell phone...

yet wonder

if the male neighbor

had not been with me...

outside, the wind now

is whipping about,

dark cloud haze

with stop and start

rain...

perfect weather

for hunting...

~dkb~

What's Been Goin' On...

2011-08-10T12:53:00.000-07:00

Hello dear blogging friends...just a quick update to check in and let you know what has been going on in our house...

My cell phone died the day before I was to pick up my girlfriend Jan, visiting from Missouri, at the airport. I had to order a new one, and in my haste to hurry up and order one to get it delivered the next day, I dove deep into BUYER'S REMORSE...

Received the new Samsung Revolution the next day, and turned it back in Saturday, unopened. Traded it for a special offer on a Samsung Continuum, which is just like the Samsung Fascinate, only skinnier and has a ticker display on the bottom of the screen. So far, I really like it. My first "smart phone".

Two days after Jan arrived, my sister Holly, girlfriend Bonnie arrived for another Creative weekend. They drove straight to Barb's house and Jan and I met them there, after we spent three hours at the Verizon store getting my new phone...

Had a blast with all the girls...we went to the MGM and saw the baby lions. Holly and I had our picture taken with 60lb "Buddy". We also went to the Bellagio Conservatory and took pictures of the latest display. Here are a few pictures below...

Buddy, who was fed ground up meat in a bottle in between pics to keep him happy.

Handlers inside the Lion enclosure...

Handler watching as Lion gnaws on plastic ball... (see all the teeth marks?)

These guys are either crazy or very vulnerable...

Pictures below are from the Bellagio Conservatory...

Made of flowers

Parrots inside the bird sanctuary

Koi fish in a pond

Barbs, me, Jan, my sister Holly and Bonnie

We collaborated on our laptops....(did a lot of admiring on Pinterest)

We took pictures of clouds...(can you see the horse?)

We took pictures of sunsets...

We posed for pictures...to imitate a poster...

We designed cups, baked them, but forgot to seal them...so some of us lost our design when we put it in the dishwasher...

We made apple crisp to go in small jars

We made lanterns with coarse salt and votive candles to hang on fences or tree branches...

We mixed colors and made scented bath salts

My sister and Bonnie left Tuesday the 25th of July and Jan left at the end of the month on the 29th.

My husband's friend arrived the evening of the 29th to stay the weekend to celebrate his 70th birthday. We had a family BBQ on Saturday night. He drove home Monday morning. My husband's son was in town on business, so he stopped by two nights to visit and join in on the birthday celebrations...

My Mom and Dad celebrated their 66th wedding anniversary on August 4th. Dad is in a nursing home and Mom has been down with a sore back since April...Dad will be 91 in November and Mom is 84.

Friday, August 5th, 12 of our family caravaned up to Mammoth Lakes, CA for the weekend. Eight adults and six teenagers. We met our friends at the Mammoth house. What a great time we had! The house was incredible! Being among all the pine trees, sitting out on that deck enjoying nature was a masterful, soulful experience. Lots of good food and laughter...

View from the front window...

From the back balcony...

Fishing up at Mary's Lake...

Up the hill, looking down on the family fishing...

Several of us looking at our pictures on the kitchen table...

No great weekend is complete, without Smores...cooked on the back balcony

We also went to Twin Lakes, June Lake, Convict Lake (had a nice dinner there too) and Silver Lake. Everyone except for our friends Ray and Lana, Jerry and I, went to Yosemite on Sunday. They had a great day except for a controlled brush fire, which make their pictures kind of smokey...

We got home Monday in the early afternoon and picked up Izzy from boarding. I have been busy doing laundry and getting unpacked.

Yesterday, the nursing home called. Dad was taken to the hospital for some tests as he had been throwing up. By 5pm, they determined he was fine...only his potassium was a little elevated. We think he over ate for breakfast. Apparently he ate a big breakfast and then asked for a large fruit plate...

This weekend we will relax and take it easy. Next week, my youngest daughter Jodee, her honey Jeff and son, baby Jacob, will be in town. She is here on business, so Jeff will come visit with Jacob during the day. We will meet them at their hotel for dinner a couple of nights...I will watch the baby while they go out for a few hours. I cannot believe Jacob will be one year old next month!

I hope to attempt to catch up and visit some blogs this weekend...big hugs to you all!

Magpie #75: She Caressed Danger...

2011-07-30T17:09:00.000-07:00

Photo from Tess Kincaid

Challenge and hostessed by Magpie Tales

she was drawn to

risk like a moth to a flame

she craved the excitement

she caressed danger

where most hearts

would pound with anticipation

hers would slow down

to a hypnotic sense of calm

she rode a bicycle

on a tightrope

high above the crowds

of a circus

without a net...

most would remove the rubber tire

and ride on the rims

she left the rubber tires on...

she would not only stop,

frequently, upon the tightrope,

relishing the gasps

of apprehension

below...

she would

rhythmically move

in a slow dance

of ecstasy

as if she were

bathing in scented oils

sliding across her skin...

her eyes would close

to a slit

like a cat napping

in the sunlight

of a nearby window...

she stretched,

slow and reverently

pointing to the heavens

whispering

grateful purrs

in doing

what she loved to do....

~dkb~

Magpie # 74: Mask of Deception

2011-07-18T10:50:00.000-07:00

Photograph by Tess Kincaid

Challenge and hosted by Magpie Tales

eyes cast down

shielding

shy with confrontation

restraint for conversation

inward

as mental eyes

stare, fixed, catatonic

do not speak

do not think

blend in

afraid

fearing

the slightest

attention

keep smiling

keep hiding

behind

a mask

deception

~dkb~

Changes...

2011-07-17T23:29:00.000-07:00

"All changes,

even the most longed for,

have their melancholy;

for what we leave behind us

is a part of ourselves;

we must die to one life

before we can enter another. "

~ Anotole France~

Magpie #73 In This Sea of Life...

2011-07-15T14:52:00.000-07:00

People of Chilmark, Thomas Hart Benton, 1920

Photo presented by Tess Kincaid

Hostess and challenged by Magpie Tales

in this sea of life

we clamor and paw

struggle and climb

asking and seeking

someone

anyone

confirm

validate

appreciate

even

ask for an

explanation

as to why

we are

the way

we are...

the secret is

"to know thyself"

Trust

and

Believe

in yourself

and the

answers

will come...

~dkb~

Set Your Course...

2011-07-14T18:27:00.000-07:00

"Whatever course you decide upon,

there is always someone

to tell you that you are wrong.

There are always difficulties

arising which tempt you

to believe that your critics are right.

To map out a course of action

and follow it to an end requires courage"

~Ralph Waldo Emerson~

I borrowed this quote from Barbara at Barbara's Collected Quotes

Be Open...

2011-07-13T22:01:00.000-07:00

From Pinterest: Ann Ford "Thoughtversational Quotations"

Inspiration...

2011-07-12T18:03:00.000-07:00

This is a U-Tube video a friend sent me. Not only it is beautiful, it is so inspirational. The tenderness and strength of these two dancers brought me to tears... There is nothing which is impossible. There are miracles every day and the people God uses to make it happen...

Did Blogger Install a Favicon (Join This Site on Google Connect) on YOUR blog? They did on mine...

2011-07-11T23:50:00.000-07:00

Has anyone else had a Google Favicon to "Joint this site through friend connect" installed mysteriously on their blog??? Both my blogs have it and I DID NOT put it on my blogs.

The Favicon on my other blog Mystical Journeys is at least above my followers on my side bar....but because my followers are at the top of my page, on this blog, it is the first thing on top of my page, above my followers.

Kind of ticks me off Google would not put this in the Gadget options for us to decide if we want it instead of making the decision for us.

The number of problems and issues these past months since May 13th really concerns me. What is up with Google? What is with all these problems? Are they in competition with Facebook or something??

Lessons in Life...

2011-07-10T16:14:00.000-07:00

Today, I was cleaning out my folders in my computer. I found this under "Advice".

These lessons in life were written by Regina Brett, at the age of 50 years old. She is a columnist at The Plain Dealer, in Cleveland, Ohio. She turns 54 years old this year in August, although her 45 Lessons in Life floods the Internet, reporting she is 90 years old. She has been a single parent, a breast cancer survivor, and a Pulitzer Prize finalist in 2009 and 2008. Her column on these life lessons is her most popular column.

Regina said, "It turns out those personal life lessons were universal truths. They came from being a single parent and a cancer survivor, from all the wrong roads taken looking for my mission in life, from the broken road that led me straight to my husband, from strangers I interviewed, from priests I met on retreats, from my family and closest friends."

A quote from her book, GOD NEVER BLINKS, she wrote: “It took me 40 years to find and hold onto happiness. I always felt that at the moment I was born, God must have blinked. He missed the occasion and never knew I had arrived. My parents had 11 children. While I love them and my five brothers and five sisters deeply, some days I felt lost in the litter... I seemed to be the runt of that litter. I ended up confused by the nuns at 6, a lost soul who drank too much at 16, an unwed mother at 21, a college graduate at 30, a single mother for 18 years, and finally, a wife at 40, married to a man who treated me like a queen."

Regina wrote the first 45 lessons after being grateful living to age 45. At 50, she wrote five more.

Here is her list:

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.

8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.

12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don’t compare your life to others’. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry: God never blinks.

16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.

17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.

18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.

19. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over-prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: “In five years, will this matter?”

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.

35. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.

36. Growing old beats the alternative – dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.

38. Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.

41. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

42. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.

43. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

45. The best is yet to come.

46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

48. If you don’t ask, you don’t get.

49. Yield.

50. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.

For more on Regina Brett, see her web site here

How To Stay Young...

2011-07-08T21:34:00.000-07:00

1. Try everything twice. On one woman's tombstone she said she wanted this
epitaph: Tried everything twice...loved it both times!

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
(Keep this in mind if you are one of those grouches)

3. Keep learning: Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening,
whatever. Never let the brain get idle. An idle mind is the devil's
workshop. And the devil's name is Alzheimer's!

4.. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath. And if you
have a friend who makes you laugh, spend lots and lots of time with
HIM/HER.

6. The tears happen: Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is
with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love: Whether it's family, pets,
keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable,
improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, or a trip to the
next county or a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

11. Forgive those who made you cry. You might not get a second chance.

Remember, lost time can never be found.

Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of
battle.

***** Attributed to comedian George Carlin, but according to Snopes.com was written by an unknown author.*****

Pain....

2011-07-07T17:03:00.000-07:00

pain is an interesting teacher...

lying on my back

unable to sit

creates many hours

of thought...

conclusions and insight

repeatedly slapping my attention

like the sledge hammer

slamming into my lower back...

promises made

prayers offered

if only this would stop...

now,

with answered prayers,

starting to feel better,

being a woman

of my word

promises

must

be kept...

irritation

erupting into the realization

in taking my health

for granted...

hating dieting and exercise

I hate dieting more...

so exercise is my anthem

my song of songs

my path back to freedom...

~dkb~

Wake Up Call, Times Two....

2011-06-30T12:43:00.000-07:00

Early this morning, we were awakened by our dog Izzy barking her ALARM bark, she ran in the house barking in a high pitched bark, running around the house, and back outside in our back patio... my husband, characteristically, worries about her barking disturbing the neighbors and told her to be quiet.

He went out into the front to get the newspaper and saw our neighbor Jerry, two doors down, was standing on our corner, over the body of a small dog. He yelled to my husband, telling him a coyote had just killed our neighbor's dog. Our neighbor lives kitty corner from us, down the street on the corner. Their yard sits below street level. Her little Yorkshire terrier typically jumps up on top of the wall and sticks her head out the wrought iron bars which sit on top of the wall. Apparently, the dog jumped up and the coyote snagged it, shaking it all the way down the street to our corner and was preparing to eat it, when Jerry, our neighbor scared it off....

My husband came in and woke me up (as I had my earplugs in and CPAP machine on) and told me what happened. We went outside and I could see Chris, the dog's owner, and Jerry... he had covered her little dog Bella with a towel.

I comforted and cried with Chris, while my husband stood over the dog, keeping the wind from blowing back the towel, exposing Bella's body. Jerry went to get a box to put Bella in, so Chris could carry Bella home. One of our other neighbors, Ally, walked with Chris back to her house...

We have heard of coyote sightings from other neighbors, besides Jerry. Because of it, I will not walk Izzy alone early in the morning when it is cooler or later after dusk, when it isn't so hot. I have been asking my husband to walk with us... I think NOW, he will.... When I rarely do, I carry a walking stick.

Yesterday I read in the newspaper someone in our community was running up on our walking trails around 6 am, when his Boxer was bite in the forehead by a 3 foot rattlesnake, which the owner killed. His vet bill was $1200 and thankfully, his dog will be fine. The owner was quoted saying he will not be running up on the trails until Winter. This is the same trail my son in law, daughter and I took when they came to visit in April, for the Easter weekend.

This is a wake up call... we have a six foot wrought iron fence around our backyard, with more narrow bars than our neighbor Chris. Her bars are 5 or 6 inches wide and ours our 3 inches. Izzy cannot stick her head through the bars. The fence has thorny bushes growing on it for privacy. We have a doggy door and Izzy has free rain in our small back yard. In the past we have left her in the house, but she can use the small doggy door to go in and out to do her business. Now, we may start locking her inside and using the potty patch beside the back door...

I have written much this past week as I threw my lower back out. Last Thursday I leaned over to pick up a grocery bag and ZINGO, I felt like a lightning bolt struck my lower back! Could not even sit long enough to post an explanation about my absence...Yesterday, I started taking some muscle relaxers, which make me very sleepy, but it is helping. It feels so good to sit and type on my laptop without pain and stiffness in my lower back!

I think this is a wake up call for me to get serious about losing weight... my gut is getting so big it is now throwing out my back!

I read some where about extra weight around the middle is like carrying a bowling ball attached to the waist... With THAT VISUAL, I can see how I keep throwing my back out. Like it or not, I have to take some positive action to lose weight!

I have found I do better with a schedule. Part of me HATES schedules as I see myself as spontaneous, but being spontaneous, leads me into procrastination...

When I am completely healed from this lower back business I will be implementing and experimenting with my posting and visiting other blogs schedule. I have to make exercise a priority in my life. It is clear to me, routine and schedules equal more accomplishment.

I have a lot of time to think this past week. First and foremost, is dealing with my constant challenge in being unhappy with where we currently live. I must learn to live with it. I have to. Depression and loneliness generate laziness, another reason for my weight gain. I weigh more now than I did with both my pregnancies! I hate to admit this, but I have put on almost 30 pounds living here these past five and a half years! I have been literally, eating my loneliness...

I used to remember working and wonder how I got so much accomplished...it is because I was on a schedule. I hate dieting, so it is all about changing my life style. I have to get more active, which means getting OUTSIDE the house! Before my back went out, I sat at my computer a good twelve hours or more!

Recently, when I visited my Mom in California, she confronted me on how my obsession with my computer has made her feel disconnected from me. Even when I would came to visit her at her home, I would be on my computer. I had felt her distance and had pulled away from her too. I am so glad she brought it to my attention, because it made me realize how out of control I have become...

I feel I have really slacked off visiting your blogs...another indication of how disorganized and dysfunctional I have become...Everything has come to a head having to lie around and do nothing but think... In a way, having my back go out has been a blessing...and a genuine wake up call...

Magpie #70: Familiar...

2011-06-23T01:00:00.000-07:00

Photograph by Tess Kincaid

Challenge, hostessed by Magpie Tales

It was a sunny spring day as

she stood across the street

from the court house...

her heart racing in anticipation.

On a whim

she turned and opened

the chiming door

of the second hand shop...

Poking around for thrifty treasures

always relaxed her...

A ray of light through the window

blinded her temporarily,

bumping her against

the corner of metal bin...

Looking down

she noticed

the unusual

cross stitched

pattern

around the antique

framed photograph...

Her breath caught

as her image

in black and white

stared back

at her...

Goose flesh arose

upon the back

of her neck...

Something familiar

filled her gut...

an instant

connection

in the dark lashed eyes,

the shape of her face,

her brows,

her nose

and lips...

Her finger twirled

the air

at the edge of the frame,

as she imagined

the dark,

natural curls

around her finger...

~dkb~

The Agony and the Ecstacy...

2011-06-22T17:29:00.000-07:00

My visit to California started off pretty rough, traveling with my sore back...by the time I arrived at Mom's on Wednesday, I was not only in more agony with my back, but exhausted from lack of sleep. I was feeling pretty grouchy...

I had a lot of problems with the Internet at Mom's house... Most of my what happened during my visit is written on my other blog, Mystical Journeys.

Mom suggested I drink some of her Joint Juice...I had been using the Icy Hot Packs, heat packs and ice packs and nothing was working... The Joint Juice has 1500 mg of Glucosamine HCI and 200 mg of Chondroitin Sulfate, along with 400 IU of Vitamin D3 and 60 mg of Vitamin C. One 8 oz bottle has 25 calories, but the Cran-Pomegranate flavor is very tasty. It makes me fart like a motor boat, but having one a day for three days, by Friday, I was not having any pain or discomfort in my back! I am beginning to think I have some arthritis in my back...and plan on asking my doc to check me out in that regard...

Mom said my brother K____ started taking it for his knees (years of basket ball) and he has not had any complaints. Speaking of my brother K____.... He and his wife came by to visit with Mom and I Saturday night. He noticed my CPAP machine set up on the coffee table (because I was sleeping on the living room couch) and asked to try it on....

He disturbs his poor wife's sleep nightly. She is a light sleeper, so she is in the same situation as my husband used to be. His wife told him he stops breathing and needs to go to his doctor. He had told her he would not wear one of those masks...

I donned the head gear and turned on the machine.... "You look like Hannibal Lecture", he joked..."You really look like a dork... Let me try it on..."

I tried to explain he needs to go to a sleep study to determine the air pressure he needs. It will probably be different from my pressure....besides, I did not want his hairy nose on my nasal pillows... He was intrigued with the nasal pillows instead of the mask and again, insisted on trying it on...

K____ could be a stand up comedian. He even resembles Robin Williams...he can make you laugh without even trying... I attempted to be serious and give him the specifics of the machine and the importance of a sleep study... "Yeah, yeah, yeah, come on sis, let me try it..."

So I did. He pulls it over his head before he realizes the air flow is on full force.... I thought about telling him, knowing I could reduce the flow by clicking the arrow button... but stopped myself... He was making wise cracks and not listening...so I let him experience it full force! He could not talk because the air gushed out his mouth, making him lose his breath and sputter...

I took the opportunity to tell him TO SHUT HIS MOUTH! This made his wife crack up, "Good luck with getting him to do that!" she giggled... His daughter had told him I slept as quiet as a mouse sleeping on the couch when she left the house for nursing classes early in the morning... she stood smirking with her arms folded, enjoying her father's comedic commotion. Gasping for breath in high squeals, Mom was preparing to wet her pants yet again.... "It'll come out my a--s.." he managed before he shut his mouth like I told him...

"BREATHE THROUGH YOUR NOSE!" I wheezed through my own convulsions of merriment.... (I have always been partial to his perverted humor... he gets it from Mom, that's why she finds him so hysterical.)

Suddenly, there was silence...he actually listened to me and was breathing through his nose. He had been convinced he could not breathe with just his nose because he thought he snored with his mouth open. I had demonstrated how loudly I snored with JUST MY NOSTRILS...and he could not believe it.

I had told him before I got the CPAP machine, I always had a stuffy nose and irritating tickle cough at night. I often would make a tent over my head with the sheet, breathing into it making it more moist to breathe and consequently make it easier to sleep. He admitted he did the same thing...

Amazed, he removed the head gear and announced he was going to go to a sleep study and get a CPAP for himself. He said it was surprisingly comfortable and easier to breathe.

I cherish time with my family...it reminds me of all those lean years growing up when we filled the days entertaining ourselves with our humor and imaginations... This was a great visit...and an exceptionally fun visit with my Mom... we had the BEST time... I love you Mom...

Goldilocks....

2011-06-16T12:41:00.000-07:00

I had some creative thoughts whirling about in my head...but I did not sleep well last night, so those thoughts have vanished into the air... My back is still bothering me from last Tuesday when I pulled a muscle during my steroid inspired turbo energy boost....

I spent the night at my daughter's house after they left on vacation. I had spent a nice day yesterday with two of my girlfriends... I was so preoccupied in chatting with my girlfriend, I forgot to request romaine lettuce for my salad, instead, getting iceberg. Since getting older, iceberg just does not digest right in my geriatric system.... I spent the remainder of the day feeling bloated and gassy.

I have been looking forward to sleeping in my daughter's bed, instead of the couch in the living room... but I did not know their pet snake "Pike" (who used to be in its cage in the garage), is now in the corner of their bedroom... I told myself I would be fine. (I hate snakes...they give me the CREEPS!), I waited until I felt heavy lidded and tucked myself in....

I sleep with my CPAP machine, which has a plastic hose.... as I flipped flopped in their bed, in a fit of nightmares about snakes, sore muscles, unable to get into a comfortable position, I would touch the tubing in my sleep and jolt awake thinking it was the snake getting out of its cage....

I was like Goldilocks in the story of The Three Bears.... I went from their bed, to my grand sons beds, to the couch, and hardly slept a wink all night. Finally at 5am I got up and took a hot shower. Still aching, I tried the ice pack and the heat pack... drank some Instant Breakfast so I could take a Motrin, and ended up falling asleep for an hour before being awakened again by my discomfort...

I plan on heading over to Mom's house today, but thought I would try to get SOME sleep so I wouldn't fall asleep at the wheel driving to her house! No luck. Guess I better pack up and load the car slowly and cautiously...it is better I get to mom's house and have some company....

Magpie #69 Barriers of Protection...

2011-06-14T16:47:00.000-07:00

Photograph by Tess Kincaid

Challenge and hosted by Magpie Tales

It would be interesting

if the protective barriers

people create

would be as visible

as the ones

sea creatures

create...

~dkb~

Went To Urgent Care Last Night...

2011-06-10T22:13:00.000-07:00

Last night, my injection site from my Shingles vaccine on June 7th, was three inches in diameter, hot, red, swollen and ITCHY!!! I called my primary care physician and he told me it sounded like my arm was either infected or I was having an allergic reaction to the vaccine. He strongly suggested I go down to Urgent Care.

I did, and again, I was so impressed with new health insurance. They put a wrist band on wrists of all people coming in for treatment, so less chance of mix ups. I did not wait longer than five minutes before I was called into a room with a nurse. She took my temp, my blood pressure, my history and wrote down my reason for coming in.

She had me return to the waiting room, and before I could finish telling my husband what she did, she called me to see the doctor. A young woman doctor came in and greeted me, and asked to see my arm. She confirmed I was having an allergic reaction. It appears I am allergic to Neosporin and Latex.

She advised me to continue the ice packs, to take Benadryl at night, use Benadryl cream during the day. When I told her I was leaving on a trip to California on Monday, she suggested Prednisone 20mg twice a day in the am, for five days to "trick" my body from having an allergic reaction and to stop the itching...She told me to make sure and take it first thing in the morning with food as it may make me feel a little "jittery".

WHOA! I feel like I could lift a car!! I have been going like a house afire all day...cleaning out my master closet, getting donations bags ready, doing laundry, emailing, blogging, cleaning out cupboards and drawers, fixed my neighbors printer, took Izzy on a loooooonnnnng walk.... WHOO-HOOOOO! I can see why athletes like to take this stuff!! I feel like I am 20 years old!!

I will be taking this little "energy boosters" until Wednesday... My oldest daughter always complains I wear myself out and poop out too early....I called and prepared her for "the turbo version" of her Mother to visit her on Monday...in fact, I called my younger daughter to bring Jacob and come join us!! Tuesday, I will spend the day with my older daughter, and I plan to WEAR HER OUT for a change! Wednesday, my last day on the steroids, my daughter and her family leave for vacation.

I had planned on meeting two of my girlfriends, one on Wednesday and one on Thursday night...NOW, today, I called and rearranged our visits so I can meet one during the day for lunch and one at night for dinner.

Thursday I will head over to my Mom's. She visits Dad on Thursdays, so I will get to see my Dad twice while I am there! Mom turns 84 on the 21st, but she has plans with several of her friends, so we will celebrate all day on Saturday. She called me today and is having computer problems, so I will see if I can help her Thursday and Friday, then Friday night I will spend the night with my sister, and back to Mom's on Saturday morning. My sister is off to the Irish Festival with her husband, son, daughter in law and their in laws. Hopefully, she will get home early enough to join
Mom and I are Mom's celebration dinner.

Sunday, is Father's Day, and after wards, we will all go out to lunch and celebrate my younger brother's birthday, my birthday, and Mom's birthday and just enjoy one another and laugh....

Monday I will spend with my youngest daughter Jodee and little Jacob. She is taking me to Olive Garden to celebrate my birthday. Fun, fun, fun...can't wait!! She is having Jacob's pictures taken professionally, so I will meet her there and help her keep him smiling...and then after we will go to lunch...

Tuesday, I return home... (What a jabber box!) I have so much energy... I LOVE this stuff!!!

Has Anyone Had This Reaction???

2011-06-08T23:33:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I got the Shingles vaccine. So far, I am very impressed with my new health insurance...I had zero co-pay, covering the vaccine 100%. SWEET!

I have been busy the last two days, but today, I asked my husband to look at my arm (they inject the vaccine just under the skin, on the under side of the arm, so it is not easy for me to view...)

I have a red circle about the size of a silver dollar around the injection site...doesn't itch...is a little hard to touch, kind of tender, but no pain. I have been icing it and am now in between ice packs to write this...

Anyone else have any reactions to the Shingles vaccine?

Faithfulness...

2011-06-06T23:53:00.000-07:00

Photograph by DJan at DJanity

There are times

when being still

like a forest,

is a prayer

needing to be prayed...

To shut everything out,

concentrating

on the whispers

from The Voice within...

keeping

the faith...

Lately, my life

is not unfolding

the way I want...

Lately, my burdens

feel extra heavy...

Some times

I feel like I am

lost in a forest,

bewildered and

overwhelmed by

my surroundings...

Impatience,

disappointment,

and

doubt

plague my joy,

stealing my focus...

As swiftly

as a sudden shower,

a crack of lightning,

a roar of thunder,

a change in attitude

through prayer

can come like a cool breeze...

on a warm day...

Reassuring me

I am on the right path...

walking in nature's glory

cherishing every step

filled with wonderment

and a sense of discovery...

My example

are the trees

stretching to the heavens

aiming for the stars;

faithful to soar above and beyond...

Faithfulness

is the ability

to believe

to know

to expect

without question...

depending

on the fact

God does not

make mistakes...

God has a plan for me.

He knows

this place and time

may not be to my liking

but there is a reason

I am here...

learning

growing

being molded

and shaped

into the purpose

He has for my life...

It is important

I seek, find and know

what that purpose is...

but more importantly,

to be faithful.

Forests, like life,

evolve

effected by the elements...

as it is meant to do...

Tall, strong trees

fall,

if only to become

a bridge to cross...

eventually rotting

to fertilize the soil...

the rain falls,

moss spreads to feed,

animals take shelter,

gentle ferns

thrive within the mist,

every living thing

has a purpose...

He knows the all

and the everything.

Please fill me

with your Spirit,

Please fill me

with your peace.

I want

to be

faithful...

Amen.

~dkb~

A Flurry of Family Events and Some Sad News...

2011-06-06T09:14:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to touch base with everyone....my blogging has slowed down this month...at least due to last week and this week preparing a week stay in California... We have ten family birthdays this month, plus have family in town this weekend, leaving tomorrow... I have a ton of preparations to do, car stuff, errands, etc....I leave the 14th and return home on the 21st...

I will be popping in and out when time allows...

Just found out this morning, my friend Barbs, one of the gal pals in our creative group, lost one of their two dogs, Sadie, last night. She had difficulty breathing and had to be put down. Sadie was her husband's dog...big love affair between them. She would knock everything off the table with her tail when he came home. They would be up in his "man cave" watching sports together. She was his shadow... Their other dog, Shaq is having a very difficult time. I am so sad I cannot even write another word....

Dogs LOVE People Food...

2011-06-02T23:40:00.000-07:00

My sister sent this to me ....

Miracles, Energy and a Stroke Of Insight...

2011-05-29T04:02:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I read a story in the newspaper which started a process of thought which ended up consuming my entire day and into the night...

It was about the Ava Maria Grotto, or "Jerusalem in Miniature" in Cullman, Alabama, which is an artistic refuge built on a hillside at a Benedictine monastery called St. Bernard Abby. The grotto is a collection of over 125 miniature replicas of historic religious buildings and shrines, created over a period of 70 years by Brother Joseph Zoetl.

During the April tornadoes, one of the monks was horrified to see the approaching tornado headed directly for the Abby. Sounding the alarm, they all ran to the basement as the tornado roared above them. When the storm subsided, they emerged from the basement to find nothing had been destroyed!

The tornado ripped through this religious town, blasting and shattering homes, churches and businesses. Miraculously, the Abby, the Grotto and the Catholic church nearby were untouched. People who came to offer help, were amazed it was still standing. It has been and continues to be a peaceful place of great spiritual renewal, relaxation and prayer. Click on the video and link below to see for yourself...

Ave Maria Grotto

1600 St. Bernard Drive SE

Cullman, AL 35055

256- 734-4110

Open 9am to 6pm daily

It made me think of energy. The kind of energy Oprah talked about on her last show. How we all have it. Every person, every rock, every tree and every flower. How we are each responsible for our happiness and our lives. How we are responsible for the energy we bring to the people around us...

Could the creative energy of Brother Zoetl, sharing his energy through his work, surrounded by a place of collective contemplative energy for good and selfishness...possibly generate enough energy to redirect a tornado? I wonder...

According to David R. Hawkins, M.D., Ph.D., in his book POWER VS FORCE, he tests and measures the energy fields in the various levels of consciousness... I bought this book in 2004 after listening to a program by Dr. Wayne Dyer on The Power of Intention. I have been attempting to read, understand and implement Dr. Hawkins theories in my life for the past seven years.

He has calibrated the levels of consciousness with explanations and examples on each level. The levels from lowest to highest are: Shame 20, Guilt 30, Apathy 50, Grief 75, Fear 100, Desire 125, Anger 150, Pride 175, Courage 200, Neutrality 250, Willingness 310, Acceptance 350, Reason 400, Love 500, Joy 540, Peace 600 and Enlightenment 700-1,000.

Not all levels are achieved one then another, more often we go up and down the ladder so to speak, gaining insight, knowledge, and learning lessons. As we grow and learn we gravitate more toward the higher levels of consciousness and lead more meaningful lives.

Which brings us back to why I was thinking of Oprah. She gets it.. on many of these levels. If you did not see her show, she spoke of the one common thread which runs through each one of us. We want to know (like in the movie Avatar) Do you see me? Do you hear me? Does what I say, mean anything to you? We want to know we matter. We want to know we are enough...We want to be validated.

She spoke of shame and how it destroys lives...if we allow it. We each have the power to change our lives. She is a prime example, coming from poverty and the shame of sexual abuse, to the higher levels of consciousness. Those who are in pain and suffering through these lower levels have one thing in common... unworthiness. "We block our blessings because we don't feel inherently good enough, worthy enough, smart enough, or pretty enough".

Oprah showed a clip of an episode about Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, and as a 37 year old brain scientist, alone in her apartment, had a sudden stroke on the left side of her brain. She could not speak or remember her mother. Dr. Taylor had only the use of the right side of the brain, which feels energy and perception, to assist her in getting help for herself. I remember seeing that particular show in 2008 and was mesmerized by her story...

Dr. Taylor gave Oprah a quote, which Oprah keeps in her dressing room, but practices daily in her home and business. It reads:

"Please take responsibility

for the energy

you bring into this space."

Think about that for a second...

Wanting to explore this deeper, I Googled Dr. Taylor on the Internet. I found this video which is one of the best explanations I have ever seen or read, between the difference of the right and left sides of the brain. She tells her story of "experiencing her stroke from the inside out."...which became the title of her book, MY STROKE OF INSIGHT...watch this and you will see why...

It is 20 minutes long...may I suggest you stay with it, because it is really amazing and inspirational...

How many of you watched Oprah's last show? I was both captivated and validated. I appreciate what she shared and look forward to her next venture...

Oprah understands positive energy. She spoke of Newton's 3rd Law of Motion: "For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction". She quoted the Golden Rule, "Do onto others as you would have them do onto you"... and showed us how LOVE is the energy of best intentions...

The part I liked best was her giving all the credit and glory to Jesus and her staff. She said "God is closer than your breath...be still and know it."

So much is still in my thoughts...but it is almost 4am and my husband and I are going to Lake Las Vegas tomorrow... Almost a year ago, I did a post about the Casino and the Ritz Carlton Hotel closing. A company bought the old Carlton, redecorating and re-opened it as Ravella this past February. The MonteLago Casino was bought, completely redone and opened this weekend. I love it there...it is like a quaint Italian village with cobblestone streets which lead down to a man made lake...

I better get some shut eye so I can stay awake and enjoy it...I will take pictures....

Six Word Saturday...

2011-05-28T23:54:00.000-07:00

Brain full: whirlwind tornado of thoughts

What Is Happening With Blogger????

2011-05-26T15:46:00.000-07:00

I am not sure if Blogger is having problems again...if it is from the Tornadoes in the mid west, or if it has anything to do with my upgrading to Internet Explorer 9, but my followers are not showing on either of my blogs. When I scroll down my blog, it sticks and jerks...

Is anyone else having problems? I think I have had one comment. I heard we needed to change our comment section to pop up and to removed the word verification, which I did...and still no comments...

Posting is acting up too...putting the letters in funky places. Is it just me? I have also tried Mozilla (which I am using now) and also had trouble with Chrome....

Magpie #67 Disconnected Twins...

2011-05-23T15:27:00.000-07:00

Nicolas Tournier's Banquet Scene with lute player

Photograph prompt by Tess Kincaid

Writing/Poetry challenge hostessed by Magpie Tales

Interesting alternate painting I found below...same painting

with different lighting for contrast

making the women look different...

Nicolas Tournier's Merry Company

Twins

separated at birth

each emotionally

intellectually

connected

individually

living

separate lives

moments in time

shared instantly

hypnotised by

the experience

of the other

unaware

of what

she

herself

living...

disconnected

by a cruel fate....

~dkb~

Devastation and Renewal...

2011-05-22T12:47:00.000-07:00

Photograph taken by Mari from 365 Days

The tragedy of
devastation
uproots lives,
topples trees,
scatters
personal
and material possessions
under water or blown
in all directions
from tornadoes
and storms...

The destiny
and reality
in living where we do
creates
what happens
on our journey
through life...

Forces of nature
compel
regrowth...
ready or not,
a different path
forged in
ruins
with
green shoots
of new life...
sprouting, striving through
the chaos...

A thunderously challenge...

of renewal,
connecting powerful
resolve,
pulling from
unknown

inner strength,
to seek
fresh insight,

for re-discovery
in remembering

the importance

of the most basic
necessities
in life...

precious gifts

money cannot buy...
like knowing
family and friends
are OK
and finding
lost pets...
the
contrast
and
dawning
to rebuild lives...

~dkb~

Miracles Do Happen...

2011-05-21T11:16:00.000-07:00

Today I watched a heartwarming video about a woman in Tuscaloosa, Alabama who lost her home in a tornado on April 27, 2011. She and her three cats were running into the hallway when the roof of her house blew off. When the roof detached, the walls fell upon Miss Judy and pinned her beneath it with two of her cats.

Her cat, Cadie, who she had for ten years was missing. Cadie is a long haired, white cat with one blue eye and one green eye. The cat had been missing for over three weeks. While being interviewed by a reporter in front of what is left of her house, Cadie, the missing cat, walked up to her on camera...

Talk about getting a lump in my throat...what a touching story...see for yourself... click on link below:

Miracles do happen...

Don't Fence Me In...

2011-05-17T12:59:00.000-07:00

Photograph from Pat from A View from the Edge

I want to jump the fence

and run free in a full on gallop!

Racing against the wind

into wide open spaces;

kicking, bucking, spinning,
screaming my will,

until my legs won't carry me...

Panting joyfully from spent energy

caressing the freedom enveloping me...

Sun on my back,
nostrils flared, pawing the earth,
excited from the experience...
knowing
I followed my heart.
This is my vow-

bent up restraint

will not fence me in...

~dkb~

Magpie #66: Temptation In The Library...

2011-05-16T16:07:00.000-07:00

Photography byTess Kincaid

Writing Challenge, Hostessed by Magpie Tales

he stared at his potential porthole

of leather bound editions...

gathering his wits

he wondered if anyone

could hear the pounding of his heart...

despite the thunder

in his ears

he swallowed twice

hearing the hushed whispers

and muffled, seductive, giggles

from the isle

on the other side of him...

was he prepared to see for himself?

red handed proof,

the rumors were true?

his hand trembled

as he reached for

a handful of books....

~dkb~

Six Word Saturday...

2011-05-14T19:34:00.000-07:00

Join us: Six word Saturday

Limpin' from blister on my foot.

Mappie #65: Prayer of Protection...

2011-05-11T14:15:00.000-07:00

Photography by Tess Kincaid

Writing/Poetry challenge Hostess Magpie Tales

a mother's quest

to teach her children,

like baby birds, to fly high and strong

once they leave the nest...

we do our best

as mothers

to teach, to share, to caution...

some lessons

must be learned

by living one's life...

there are times

when due to experience

and living longer,

a parent can only hope

their children will heed

their advice...

St. Francis,

the rest of the Saints,

dear Lord above,

all the positive and protective energy...

PLEASE

PROTECT

OUR CHILDREN

and GRAND CHILDREN

amen

~dkb~

Magpie #64: A Dream Fulfilled...

2011-05-06T18:54:00.000-07:00

Photograph by Tess Kincaid at Willow Manor

Challenge hosted by Magpie Tales

She wanted a child

and she yearned to live

in the lush tropics

She sold everything

and worked as a cook

on a one way sail.

She was a plain looking

woman, with a strong back

and determined nature.

She secured work

as a food server

and part time cook

She loved the smell of

the earth, planting in

abundance

she grew her own food

and flowers for the table

She found an abandoned shack

close to Haleakala

The owner compensated her

for fixing up the place

and sharing her fresh vegetables and fruit.
Not long, he began
to notice more than
how hard she worked.
He had ancestors of royal Mauian blood
and he too longed for children...
His admiration would only allow
him to ask for her hand
and lucky for him,
she accepted.
She and the earth
had much in common
She gave birth in the spring
to fine, strong son.
The couple went on to share
several more children
and she loved her family
and her home above the volcano...

~dkb~

How To Squeeze Every Possible Nano Second Into A Creative Weekend...

2011-05-04T23:49:00.000-07:00

While walking Izzy on Monday, after the girls left for California, Izzy charged a dog, pulling unexpectedly on the leash, which was wrapped around my left middle finger and thumb. When she lunged, it bent my finger back, strangling my finger and spun me around. My left middle finger is swollen and bruised, better today than yesterday, but still sore...so I will not be typing a lot on this post...but wanted to share some photos from the weekend...

Above is our itinerary for the weekend. My sister Holly and girlfriend Bonnie arrived around 10:30am. We chatted and ate our lunch, waiting for Barbs to get home from work. When Barbs called on her way home, I made her some lunch and we packed up to go to her house.

From left to right, Holly, Bonnie and Barbs. We gathered at Barb's dining room table and began to work on our tile photos. Basically, we took photographs printed professionally by photo processing and Hodge Podge them to tiles in varying sizes. I misunderstood and brought photos I printed off my computer, so the colors faded.

From left to right, Holly, me and Barbs. Below are pics of what they did...

These are Bonnie's picture tiles drying in a CD holder...

This is Barb's 12 x 12 tile project....in progress....

Sorry, TOP SECRET, can't show you Holly's.....yet...

Since I had stayed up all night watching the Royal Wedding of Prince William and Princess Kate, I passed out, exhausted. Of course my friends took the opportunity to take pictures of me and laugh at my snoring... They continued on without me and made some other crafts....

A wine bottle lamp, filled with a white super bright mini light set, with a small lampshade resting on the lip of the wine bottle...

Another lamp...

And another creative masterpiece by Barbs...

Paper flowers to be glued to flip flops for Bonnie and Barbs' grand daughters...

Saturday morning, Holly and I set off for the community yard sale up at our community center. My sister found an awesome decorative drawered table, an antique frame

I got a footstool for $15, a Microfleur kit (brand new) for $2, a light weight, rose bathrobe for $2, a black Vera Bradley purse for $1, a thick "candy striped" apron for $1 (to use when I bathe Izzy), and my best deal, a sterling silver six piece set of baby silverware for $1.

$15 rosy beige, hinged storage foot stool

$2 Microfleur flower drying kit

$1 striped heavy apron

$1 black, quilted, designer lined, Vera Bradley purse

$2 light weight, rose patterned bathrobe...

$1 sterling silver six piece baby's silverware...

Then we hit a few thrift stores. We were searching for small easels to display the tile photos...like these...

We all loved this sign...

We we out longer than we planned. We told Barbs and Bonnie to eat breakfast. They wanted to go to Hobby Lobby for more supplies, so we told them to go ahead and we would meet them there. Afterwards, we all went to Mimi's for lunch.

When we arrived back at Barb's house...our trunk looked like this from our shopping expedition...

We left our laptops each night so we don't have to lug them back and forth. The red and white polka dot bag holds our sweat pants and slippers, for later on...the rest are our "found treasures".

This is the drawered table (upside down) in my back seat...with the antique frame leaning against it.

Our project for Saturday night was to make Bakerella's cake pops. Click on the link to view her video: ttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JpIifr0VOxY

There was a beautiful sunset Saturday night...

Laughing and joking around rolling our cake balls....

It takes tremendous concentration to laugh and roll at the same time...

Admire our work...

Here is our melted pink chocolate peculating upon the stove...

We dip a stick into the hot pink chocolate and stick it into the cake ball to glue the stick to the cake ball...

We did plenty of "quality control"...to ensure tastiness...

Improvised when the balls fell apart... as you can see, the dipping part was pretty tricky..making sure the excess is "gently tapped" back into the heating pan.

Holly researched the dipping technique...

Into the sprinkles...and then into the bucket to harden...

Wrap all up...

Into the buckets to look pretty...

Celebrated with fruit and champagne...

While the dogs slept...

It was late, so Holly and I left and drove back to my house. I had wanted her to help me hang a quote above our dining room slider, leading into the back patio... I was tired, but my wonderful sister insisted we do it, despite the late hour... What do you think? She printed out three vinyl red hearts for accent...but I have not put them up yet...

I think we hit the sack at 2am....

Sunday morning, we were up, dressed and arrived at Barb's house around 9am. Barbs and Bonnie were still in their pajamas. Immediately, Barbs went to my sister and hugged her...telling her she was sorry and she would pay to have it fixed. My sister and I kind of looked perplexed, not quite sure if it was one of her normal pranks...

Turns out this time she was serious. Her dog got tangled in the computer cords and pulled Holly's laptop off the kitchen table, onto the area rug and then onto the tile floor... They had been working on it since they got up. Impressively, my sister was calm and immediately began to trouble shoot with Bonnie to see if they could get it to boot up...

Holly pressed and poked and between her logical approach to resolve and Bonnie's instructions via the Internet, they were able to boot it up and get it working. Talk about celebrating with tears of joy and relief!

We were happy!

We had planned a trip to the Apple store, as all of us have Apple laptops except my sister who has a Dell. I needed to upgrade my operating system to Snow Leopard, and all of us wanted to update iWorks and iLife. We also wanted to stop by Michaels for iTunes cards, more supplies and a stop at Borders...

My sister decided to stay behind as she wanted to do a project in one of our craft magazines, do some updating on her laptop and to make some stick on's for the tile photos with the Cricut.

When we returned, a few hours later, we walked in ready to cook dinner, when Holly announced her computer crashed right after we left. We tried looking on line again for other options, but she assured us, she had been trying and it would not boot up. All she had was a blue screen... Our computers are such a part of our lives, it really put a damper on our spirits. She was a trooper, watching her Sunday shows while we loaded up our family pack of upgrades...

Right in the midst of her show, we got the news on the death of Osama bin Laden! We all stood and cheered....then back to work, listening with one ear... It was after midnight by the time we finished.

When Holly and I drove home, I could tell she was bummed. We stayed up talking about solutions. I offered her my mac book to borrow, but she decided to ask Mom if she could borrow her Dell laptop. We determined it would be best to call Dell in the morning, rather than some regular computer repair.

We went to sleep with a plan of attack in the morning...

The first thing we did Monday morning, was call Dell. We were shocked to find out the minimum would be only $159 if it was the memory or circuit board and $358 if it was the motherboard! We all were thinking she would need a new computer. Dell will ship her a UPS box with label and she returns it to them. They will communicate with her via email on the progress and she should have her repaired laptop and power cord back in 7-10 days. AWESOME!

Mom confirmed she would loan Holly her laptop. It was a huge relief for both of us, and especially to Barbs, whose dog got tangled in the power cord and pulled it off the table. When we all met for breakfast, Barbs handed Holly a check and we all celebrated it would not be as much money as we all thought.

Other than the computer mishap, it was a great weekend...

Tomorrow I leave for California for five days. My husband is staying home and having two of his friends visit. They will be ON THE GO the entire time, so poor Izzy will have to go to boarding camp...

Thursday and Friday I will stay with my oldest daughter Holly and my grandsons, the 8 year old and the 6 year old. My younger daughter Jodee will come up one of those days with little Jacob so we can have our Mother's Day celebration.

Saturday, the 6 year old has a baseball game and then I will drive to Mom's house. Most likely, my sister, Mom and I will get together for dinner and a show. Sunday, we all will meet at my second the oldest brother's for a BBQ and celebrate Mother's Day there. It will be good to see the family. Monday, Mom and I will attend Dad's Care Conference and probably go out to lunch. I return home on Tuesday....

My step daughter and a girlfriend arrive the following Saturday for one night...so our guest bed sheets will have been changed four times this past month!

Best be finishing my packing...talk with you all soon....

Being Creative With The Sisterhood of the Ya Ya Traveling Creative Pants...

2011-04-27T16:56:00.000-07:00

My sister is coming this weekend... I feel like a little kid at Christmas! My girlfriends, sister and I used to have our Creative Scrappin' Weekends every three or four months, but lately, we are lucky to have it once a year... Normally, we have six or seven of us. This weekend, my sister Holly and a girlfriend Bonnie, will drive out and come to my house. We will have lunch and play on our lap tops, talk, laugh and catch up. Around 3pm, our other girlfriend, Barbs should be home from work. We will take her some lunch and continue our Creative Celebration all together the rest of the weekend... They will leave on Monday morning...

We have a Digital Scrap Booking magazine we want to explore and try some of the projects...some mysterious photograph trick Barbs learned from Bonnie, recipes to sample, a possible slumber party on Friday night...(my sister is staying with me and Bonnie is staying with Barbs...but we may have to combine forces in the Creative juices suck us all in...

We ALWAYS have a blast, whatever "trouble" we get ourselves into... I have a vinyl quote I want to hang above my dining room slider leading into the back patio...it says, " The Fondest Memories Are Made When Gathered Around The Table..." My sister is going to help me hang it..or should I say, "stick it" to the wall.

We may go sight seeing and take photographs and then do something with the photographs...it is a spontaneous combustion of who-knows-what and let's-go-for-it, type of weekend... My sister and I will no doubt do some treasure hunting at a few thrift stores, we are always good luck for one another... She is bringing a stamping she is going to let me borrow. I want to try some jewelry making...

When we are all together, we are the Sisterhood of the Ya Ya Traveling Creative Pants...

Magpies and Other Thoughts...

2011-04-25T15:17:00.000-07:00

Magpie #63

Photography by Tess Kincaid atLife At Willow Manor

Writing/Poetry challenge Magpie Tales

Childhood

Isn't it scrumptious

the way an object,

a smell or a sound

transports

in a magical time machine

back to childhood?

Images, memories, colors

encompassing,

capsulizing

in the most unique,

captivating, kaleidoscope of

day dreams...

~dkb~

Photography by Mari at 365 Days

Aging in Grace...

I am like an old barn

standing quietly,

unobstrusively

on the side

of a less traveled road.

A "diamond in the rough"

surrounded by prosperous

acreage of family and friends...

Surveying and observing

from my dormer windows

of unique viewpoint,

stored with memories

and wisdom...

Green pastures of a full life

fill me with experience

solid structure

and contentment.

I've learned upkeep

is far more crucial

than a eye catching coat

of red paint...

Don't mistake my moss covered

roof as idle folly;

I may be settled with roots

but still yearn to learn

and be of good service.

My weather worn exterior,

having stood the test of time,

is not inconsequential

suitable, only for shelter...

I was built within

a formable generation

with great worldly presence.

Valued and appreciated

by family heritage,

proud to call home

this family land

where in God, we trust...

~dkb~

Six Word Saturday...With A Trip To Springs Reserve...

2011-04-23T09:00:00.000-07:00

Describe your life in six words

Anxiously waiting family arriving for Easter...

Family arrived safely. We went to the Springs Reserve and walked around enjoying natural trails, flora and fauna, flash flood experience, living green examples, Paiute Indian village, Garden center with native plants, flowers and trees, animal feedings..and more...(see the link above).

They had an EggStravaganza and picture with the Easter Bunny. We arrived close to quitting time for the EB, and the line was too long...so we took this picture of my daughter, her boyfriend and baby Jacob...

I am holding Jacob in front of Jeff, that's why Jeff's rear is sticking out so far!

We are all pooped...so heading to my bed for a nap...everyone else is already crashed out...after we rest a bit, we are off for a two for one buffet at Green Valley Ranch.... zzzzzzzzzz....

Some Times We Build Fences...

2011-04-21T10:30:00.000-07:00

Photography by Mari at 365 Days

some times we build fences

corralling ourselves

painting it bright

white in righteousness

casting shadows on

dreams

blowing opportunities

like spent golden leaves

weary from waiting...

to drop outside fences

making it fertile

for new growth

without us

spending too much time

tending the fence

into

strong, thick, solid

restraint

in protection, to feign

trust with a sly smile...

rationalizing it is not a wall

doesn't make it any

easier to get in...

the harder we protect

the bigger the fear...

open the gate

wide...

venture out into

the sunlight of bravery

feel the tenderness

of sprouting spring grass

hopeful

upon a bare soul

make it a new day

to feel the freedom

in living the life God gave you...

~dkb~

Pardon Me While I Explore...

2011-04-20T16:28:00.000-07:00

Check it out! Diane at The Blue Ridge Gal made me two blog buttons! Please feel free to take one from the side bar of either of my blogs... She does them for free and she also helps beginning bloggers in designing a custom header for your blog! She is very nice, kind, generous and works very fast! Check her out!

I am in the process of changing some things on my blog... so please bear with me...

Pardon me while I explore the world of Template Designer...I originally wanted to make my painting of STARGAZER as my Header picture.

It worked fine in my old template, but I wanted to try a wider blog template and possibly three columns. I kind of felt like a change...being Spring and all...When I attempted to go back to my original template, I could not remember which one it was...so making a change became a necessity...

I kind of liked the wider blog version, so I set out to find a different picture which would fit... the sky in STARGAZER made it difficult to find a way to make the title of the blog visible for a button; so my second choice for a blog button was the one below... It was one I would often switch to for a header picture...

But it would not fit the wider version either... I also used the desert scene below...which might fit this new wider version...as it is a larger wallpaper picture, which was my original header picture...I used this one for quite some time, as I live in the desert and it was contemplative and peaceful...I loved the colors...

I do like the purple background as a white background is hard on my eyes. The darker colors work better for me. So after experimenting, I tried the picture below, which is also a wallpaper picture...

I liked the colors and it went with my invitation to explore....the meaning of our lives...

So what do you think?

Any suggestions?

Join me, if you care to give me an opinion,

as I delve into the reconstruction of this blog...

SURVEY: I Would Appreciate Your Opinion...(2nd post today)

2011-04-19T18:24:00.000-07:00

What do you prefer when commenting on blogs... Would you rather have a reply back by email or would you rather go back to the post where you left your comment for an answer?

Generally, when one of you leave me a comment after my post, I email back to you, rather than answering in the comment section...unless we are having a discussion...but I noticed lately, I have almost exclusively been emailing back directly. I also have noticed my comments have slacked off...maybe not seeing my comments after every one's comment, gives the impression I don't respond.? Or is everyone just busy?

I am interested in your opinions and input... thanks!

Magpie #62: Egg Chokes

2011-04-19T13:15:00.000-07:00

Photo by Tess Kincaid

Challenge from Magpie Tales

She settled her cloth

napkin in her lap

admiring the way the sun laced

itself through the kitchen window

the corners of her mouth curved as

she bit into the whole wheat toast, so

crunchy, just the way she liked it, as she

sliced away another mouthful of egg a crash

of glass behind her startled her, dropping her fork

she grabbed the air over turning her tea cup spilling

the warm beige liquid down her leg as a strong, hairy, arm

encircled tightly around her neck choking the life from her breath

~dkb~

Faith...

2011-04-18T22:36:00.000-07:00

Photo by Mari at 365 days

some

times

things

look

so bleak and barren

yet

know

the

Lord

here

first

last

for

ever

watching...

and Spring will soon

come to reveal His glorious splendor.

~dkb~

Doubt, Faith and Mandalas....

2011-04-17T23:13:00.000-07:00

"Doubt is a pain too lonely to know that

Faith is his twin brother."

~Khalil Gibran~

Action

and

Accomplishment

relaxes

settles the mind

bringing clarity

trust

faith

stress and

negativity

compress

tighten

suffocate

doubt

panic...

~dkb~

Have you heard of Mandalas?

Artist of mandala and explanation
Directions: Go to link above, to category search, select Mystical,
find it 12th row down, 2nd from the left, click on it to discover...
Artist: Lori Beaty "Flower of Life Sphere"

About: The Mandala Project

Circular patterns

intricate or simple

to color

used to center

meditate

connect

heal

tune in

free your soul

relax your spirit

calm the chaos

find inner peace

Try it

~dkb~

Discovering The Purpose of Our Lives...

Changing it Up Ninja Style...

Magpie #104

In The Zone...

Magpie #103

It's Going To Be Worth It...

A Gift For Myself...

Belong to Yourself...

Wisdom From the Wise...

Magpie #101:

God Bless the Divers, Rescue Crew and Salvage Co....

Be Brave...

I Am The Shark...

Magpie #100: Procrastination...

A Moment of Ego Brings Death and Disaster...

Survived My First Zumba Class...

Wish Me Luck...

An Evening of Enlightenment...

Time and Space...

Magpie 98: Reflective Meditation...

Happy New Year...Farewell 2011....

Powerful....

To The Moon and Back...

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone....

We Are The Choices We Make...

Rain...

Checking in with updates...

A Tribute To Steve Jobs....

A Drop in the Toilet...

A Demonstration of the Power of a Mother's Love...

Random Acts of Kindness...

Magpie #82: Be Gone

The Marine Has Landed...

Six Word Saturday...

Never Be Afraid...

Remembering Precious Times...

Enlightenment...

Pinterest and Me....

Magpie #79: Day at the Beach...

Tree Swing...

Please Stand By...

Magpie #78: Her Life...

Magpie #77: She Wanted More...

Coyote Walk...

What's Been Goin' On...

Magpie #75: She Caressed Danger...

Magpie # 74: Mask of Deception

Changes...

Magpie #73 In This Sea of Life...

Set Your Course...

Be Open...

Inspiration...

Did Blogger Install a Favicon (Join This Site on Google Connect) on YOUR blog? They did on mine...

Lessons in Life...

How To Stay Young...

Pain....

Wake Up Call, Times Two....

Magpie #70: Familiar...

The Agony and the Ecstacy...

Goldilocks....

Magpie #69 Barriers of Protection...

Went To Urgent Care Last Night...

More Blogger Problems....How About You?

Has Anyone Had This Reaction???

Faithfulness...

A Flurry of Family Events and Some Sad News...

Dogs LOVE People Food...

Miracles, Energy and a Stroke Of Insight...

Six Word Saturday...

What Is Happening With Blogger????

Magpie #67 Disconnected Twins...

Devastation and Renewal...

Miracles Do Happen...

Don't Fence Me In...

Magpie #66: Temptation In The Library...

Six Word Saturday...

Mappie #65: Prayer of Protection...

Magpie #64: A Dream Fulfilled...

How To Squeeze Every Possible Nano Second Into A Creative Weekend...

Being Creative With The Sisterhood of the Ya Ya Traveling Creative Pants...